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Advice needed

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A few months ago I enlisted the help of the world expert to help write a piece for my university degree (which I have now completed). When we first met, we got on really well...speaking more about our lives than we did the work. He insisted on walking me to the station after our meeting, and stayed with me until the train came. If I am honest he was in my personal space and felt like he wanted to kiss me. He didn't. Instead he blew me a kiss as I left. Ten minutes after I left he sent me a text saying how lovely it was to meet me and if I ever needed anything just let him know. Obviously I replied saying I would.

A week later, to the hour and minute, he sent me a message saying hey gorgeous, hope to see you. Now personally I thought it was rather cute that he even did it exactly to the time. Now as we both had incredibly schedules, what with him working alot and me completing my degree, it took a while for us to meet up again.

But when we did, it was February. Again we spoke very little about the work and just spoke like friends. He talked to me openly about his work, his finances and his family. We also spoke about our love of films. He asked my advice about one of his ex girlfriend. There was also a party going on, not too far from us, that another of his ex girlfriends was attending along with some of colleagues. He had already been warned not to go, so had told me to make sure he didn't go. Which I did.

He did say to me that we could go to the party, get a drink and sit in the corner snogging. I said no to that. He kept giving me compliments, saying that the other women were jealous of me, that I was gorgeous, pretty and things like that. He moved from opposite the table and sat next to me and every time he stood up, whether it was to get a drink or go to the bathroom, he would put his hand on my arm or back. Then he started to touch my leg. When he got up the next time he kissed me!! With tongues!!! He said the word 'hmmmm' and disappeared to the bathroom. When he came back we kissed again...with tongues again.

He kept wanting to kiss me, but I stopped him because we both had partners and I have too much respect to my partner and to other women to be the other woman and cheat. We hugged, he kissed my hand and my forehead and he told me that if I was ever single to let him know. We held hands to the station and hugged goodbye...he wanted to kiss me again.

The next day I messaged him asking whether it was just something that was influenced by the alcohol and he said the alcohol had an influence but wasn't the only reason and said that the evening was interesting. Since then we have spoken, more friendly occasionally flirty...he has called me baby, sweets, darling and that's my girl. We haven't met.

So what I want to know is

a) Does it sound like he likes me or was it just the alcohol?
b) I know that he has cheated before, so can a leopard change its spot?
c) I know that I have a crush on him, but should I pursue him?

Thank you xx

Advice needed

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Hi I was in a very similar situation a few months ago from a college lecturer.

I think from what you are saying he he a player and is getting off on the power of his position. His ex was there so was it a possibility he was using you to make her jealous?

the whole suggestion of lets sit in the corner snogging !!!! Is extremely immature.... is he trying to relive a younger self ??

I understand you feel flattered, but I would not trust him, it comes across as very presumptuous and arrogant.

To answer you question 1. It is too hard to tell, he does find you attractive, and alcohol helps blur your insecurities.He finds you attractive yes, but a deep care or emotional it is far to soon,you do not know each other.
2. If he cheated before ,he will do it again,don't go down the road of thinking you have the power to change him ,only he has.
3. It is normal to have crushes on him, he is in your field of research, and he is ahead of you ,you look up to him. I personally think you should not pursue him.

Focus on what you want for the future, do not allow him to distract you.


You have worked too hard. Be careful here men like him think they own the universe and the field.

Assert yourself very quick and walk away.

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