Just need to express
Ok well I'm just needing to get this off my chest as problems with my sex life is not the easiest subject to talk to friends and family about. So I'm 33 and male, my partner is 32 and although we've been together for almost three years iv known her since primary school and until year 9 in high school. I left school and traveled Australia working and traveling and didn't see her again till i moved back to my home town a bit over three years ago. She is awesome and well liked by all her know her, she's a beautiful girl with intelligence ta boot. But, "and here it comes", we have a non-existent sex life or once a month, " In a good month". We are affectionate when it comes to kissing and cuddling and there is lots of love in the air, to the point most of our friends look up to us at times thinking we have what they do not, but in some ways they are so wrong. Now Ive never in my life told anyone what i think of myself but just so you can get an idea of my girl and myself, She's brunet tall and has a guess you could say typical model body but no barbie doll, lets just say I think she's hot. Im almost six foot olive skin, broad chest and solid but not overweight, blue eyes and still at 33 can still turn heads and get smiles. To get a full understanding I'm not ten inches in the manhood region but also not far off it, which you'd think every girl would jump at. But for some reason that doesn't even gets my partner interested, if anything if she even thinks I'm going to seduce her, a massive emotional wall go up and most of the time i wasn't even thinking of sex. And if she was right been rejected by her truly hurts and I'm a big guy but sometimes its like id rather be stabbed in the heart with a blunt knife than to not be able to turn my girl on. Im understanding and caring to her every need as she is to mine, we hold nothing back and our in-depth conversations are full of passion and our truths. So maybe your thinking "abuse victim, lesbian or affair", and no although some symptoms point in these directions all our cards have been thrown on the table and yet with what else thats been brought up from both our pasts, these would have been easy topics for her to confirm the problem on many occasions with nothing to fear, in relation to my response. So this is the first time iv written here or anywhere about my relationship, and I'm not sure how common or normal this might sound there is plenty of things we've both tried and retrying to help but still here i am at 125am loosing sleep because of it.
Your wife seems to have low libido. Perhaps she needs to talk to her OB-GYN about this.
In the meantime, is she concerned about this? or is she satisfied with little or no sex in the relationship?
Don't let this go on . . . you need some counseling to get to the bottom of this.
When there is a mismatch in libido's this happens frequently. The reason is simple, she doesn't enjoy sex as much as you do. She is not rejecting you, but is rejecting the sex. Why she doesn't enjoy it, she has to analyze herself and come out with it. There could be certain touches, actions that she doesn't enjoy and certain ones she does enjoy. Talk to her, ask her how she would like to be touched, what she doesn't like etc. Incorporate more of her likes into it and that should improve the situation. I hope you are indulging more into foreplay and not just the final sex coz foreplay is very important for women.
Could be something emotional going on, have you been arguing about stupid mundane stuff? Sometimes the smallest problems can affect moods. There could be something chemical going on though, hormones out of balance can affect sexual appetite...or has she always been, say, a prude since the beginning of the relationship? Just might be her personality.
Get her to show you what she likes most! Maybe try some different positions, go to a sex shop, get some toys, play with naughty costumes, watch porn together, theres bound to be something she's into! Just keep the dialog open with her and communicate what your both feeling and you'll figure it out!
I am 31 and no longer interested in sex with my partner of 3 years because I feel that he does not show me that he is attracted to me. He will say I thought you looked pretty today. But that's not what I mean. The passion just isn't there. He said he does not show me that he is attracted to me because I did not initiate sex enough. Now I just don't want to even bother. I would much rather just have sex with someone else.