Please help :(
I've been with the same guy for 2 years now. He's the only boyfriend I've ever had, I've never even kissed another guy. I know I love him, I do but I'm starting to think about what it would be like if he wasn't in my life. I've been thinking about what it would be like to be single. I've started talking to this guy online, and I know there's a chance he might not be who he says he is and it's risky and all that, but I can't help but feel like I like him, a lot. It's scaring me because I thought I was so happy and settled in my relationship but if I can like another guy I must not be as happy as I thought? It's the thought of being with the same guy for so long and never even experiencing what it would be like to be with another guy that's getting to me. It's not that I think that this online guy is 'the one' or anything but he's made me realise that I want to experience what it's like to be with another guy. But even thinking about leaving my boyfriend scares me, we're so comfortable, all our friends and family are so comfortable and rocking the boat scares me.. But I know I have to look out for myself and my own happiness first, I just don't know what to do. All advice welcome please
How old are you?
You sound like you have not had a chance to go through those years when people get lots of experiences and mature. THEN they have it together enough to choose a good partner.
You have no problems in your relationship, you're happy and committed. So why throw that away for simply wanting to experience a relationship with someone else? In a way it's sort of selfish. If your boyfriend is majorly invested in this relationship he'd be devastated to hear he broke up cause you wanted to experience other relationships.
Putting that aside. You say your content, yet it sounds like you're kinda bored? And are therefore looking for a more action packed relationship elsewhere? Perhaps? This may not be the case, you and your boyfriend may have plenty of activity happening. Like if you hang around each other a lot, do a lot of stuff together, talk quite often etc. Then this is not the issue.
The other thing this could be, is just plain curiosity. In which is usually always a good thing, but in this case I don't feel it is. You say your capability to like another debunks your own perceived happiness? That's simply not true. It's quite possible to feel in love with 2 different people, even more in fact. As there are many types of things certain people can fall in love with. For instance your boyfriend may have a quality you like, for instance may he's really funny and you like that. But this other guy is all smart and cool like, your boyfriend doesn't have this characteristic, yet you like too. Therefore your boyfriend lacks a quality that this guy may possess. So your curious to see how that would effect things.
Now there is a certain dynamic of relationships, which is obviously once you let it go, it's quite hard to get back sometimes. Not to mention should be ended very very very carefully, if you truly want it to end and should only be ended if you're not happy. I think you are happy in the relationship, but the happiness you feel for this different guy, feels different as such you wanna feel it with the boundaries of a relationship status. Which could end very badly, like this guy may only meet this one thing you like, while all the others he doesn't. Then you're left potentially getting hurt. In a lose/lose situation.
You don't need to worry about experiencing other relationships. This is not a necessary thing for anything. A person can be in one relationship their entire life, and that is perfectly normal, ideal in fact.
At a fundamental level relationships are just social interactions. You can learn the exact same amount from a friend you had in your life, to a lover you had in your life. A best friend would probably teach you as much as a lover would. Even general random people can teach you and give you these experiences. There is nothing major your missing out on.
Heck, I've never been in a single relationship and yet I get comments saying how mature I sound and how "smart I must be". Not to sound pretentious. But if I can get comments like that without being in a single relationship I'm sure I've had experience somewhere that has taught me these things. And I'm sure you can get experience elsewhere too in this regard.
You do need to look at your own happiness first, but is your happiness right now really under any threat? Your life seems pretty content. You have a great boyfriend who is accepted both by your friends and family. On the social front you seemingly couldn't be any better. It just seems like an unnecessary risk to take in losing a good boyfriend and friends and family who accept him.
You should continue talking to this guy on the internet, usually any people who are fake are really obvious to see. Maybe you can learn a few things from him.
In conclusion, this experience you seek can be sought elsewhere without taking this risk, and you'll learn it as you go through life. As such unless your relationship has any major problems, making you really sad and unhappy, more so than being happy. The there is no issue, you should continue being happy with what you have. If there is a problem in your relationship fix it, communicate and negotiate something, to make it work.
I hope that helped, good luck with your relationship and have a wonderful day
Well I was with the same man (my high school sweet heart) for 10yrs and one child. Then we got divorced. But I was content during that time. Now I have had a chance to meet other people and find a new love. Relationships do not have to last forever. Just know what you are giving up. The world is full of men, some good for you, some not. Enjoy the relationship with the one you are with until you no longer enjoy it then move on. It would be a lot more complicated if you had kids.