Should I continue this?
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. We are in our 30s. We do not have sex. I feel uncomfortable telling him "I love you". It really feels like we are not in a relationship. We have a 2 year old together though. I use to tell him I love him all the time but he said I was saying it insincerely. I use to want to be intimate all the time but he had so many excuses as to why he didn't want to that now I don't want to and HE is complaining (though not often). He unfriended me on facebook. He doesn't seem to be interested in anything about me. His friends talked bad about me to a lot of other people (because he was staying out all night while I was pregnant and I complained). He did not defend me and is still friends with them though they never apologized . He is friends with all his friends girlfriends but they are not friends with me. I had met one of his friends girlfriends and friended her on facebook. she never spoke to me on there and after a month she sent my boyfriend a friend request so she could ask him what our address was for a wedding invite. I told her she could have asked me to which she did not respond and when the invite came it said his name and under it "and family". Should I even continue this? This is not the relationship I want. We have a child together so its complicated but I think I just want out. Am I being selfish? We have nothing joining our two lives except our child and the fact that he lives in my house.
Children can be powerful motivators for holding a relationship together but the way you tell it, you don't have relationship.
No, you're not being selfish, you're just thinking of your own happiness which is your right. Most importantly, you need to be happy for your 2 year old to be happy.
You deserve someone who will respect you for who you are and someone who will reciprocate your love. If the relationship is not one you want and need, then you know what to do. Regardless of the complications, you need to do what you have stated in your post, and that's get out.
Hi you seem on your own in this relationship and left out.
Relationships are not meant to be like this, you are meant to be happy and intimate together. From your post its too strangers living in a house who have a child together.
You are not happy and your child will pick up on that if it continues.
You are not invisible, you deserve a future where you are part of something and valued.
I would ask him to leave your house, he can easily shut you out of his life.
Move on girl.....
Why are you asking if you should continue with this? HE has given you the answer with his behavior.
You have no relationship at all. The fact that he does not want to be intimate with you should be enough.
Usually I would argue to try and fix the relationship THEN break up. However if you don't even feel in love anymore, you feel like there isn't even a relationship. Then I presume you would not be interested in the slightest trying to fix it.
He unfriended you on facebook? This seems rather random. Why would he do that? There is no reason for you not be on his friends list? He went out of his way to do that, so there must be a reason, and evidently not a good one. Unless you were constantly pestering him with facebook related things, invites to stuff, or just general who is this person?
It looks like he's not too fond of you either. Which again is odd. He should have defended you, since he loves you right? He doesn't exactly want you feeling terrible because of his friends. At least he shouldn't, yet he did seem to try. Doesn't display much care for your feelings in this regard.
One vital question to ask is, if I could fix this, then would I want to stay in this relationship? If the answer to that is yes, try to fix it, communicate to him what you think is wrong, what you want him to do about and what you will do about it, come to a general agreement on this, then try it. If he doesn't show much effort to this plan or much effort to even making a plan or communicating the first place, then forget it. He clearly doesn't want it to work out either then, if he has no good excuses that is.
On the flipslide if you think, this is not worth it and even if the relationship gets back to its usual roots and the current problems are resolved. You think you still won't be content, then there is no point, and you should end it. As you will be happier in the long run with this decision, if that is your mindset.
In conclusion, if all the problems are gone, would be happy with the relationship? Yes, might as well try and see if anything comes of it. No, there is no point in trying, might as well move on.
I hope that helps, good luck with your relationship and have a wonderful day