A weird situation
Ok so a couple of years ago I encountered a girl -and I'll be frank here, ok- on a porn site. She is what is known as a 'cam model'. I befriended her. We talked on skype and the like regularly for two years. Recently she flew from America to the UK to stay with me for a month. We became even closer as a result of this (sexual relations and such). Over this time I've come to have pretty strong feelings for her, to be honest despite of what she does online. Trouble is, she has someone a couple of states over from her in America who she says she is in love with. In the future, they will be doing cam shows *together*. I always knew I'd only be a 'friend' to her (with occasional benefits, as I already mentioned), but we talk all the time. We are really close. The casual, sexual side of it has gotten too close to the friend side of it. I don't think I will be able to cope with her future plans- I think having to accept her starting a new relationship would be easier if it wasn't so 'public', if you know what I mean. I don't want to lose her as a friend either though. What do I do?
There really isn't anything you can do. she was honest from the first. If you push her she will back away from you further. If you can not handle her life choices then I think you need to just distance your self from her.
I genuinely don't feel like I can face up to the idea of distancing myself from her. I like her too much.
I think its easy to say distance yourself but in this case, you can either do it yourself and have a self confidence gain or you can let her actions emotionally damage you and accept that you will be in alot of future pain. She has chosen a life that is focused around sex not around real relationships this means everything she does is "not personal" its as equal to a guy loving a car (IM NOT SAYING WOMEN ARE OBJECTS) the car couldn't car less about the guy it would even drive the guy to his death. Its not personal to the car. Theres no real emotion in it. So either kill the relationship now and save yourself some pain or wait until you see her with that other guy. Trust me I feel bad for her more than i do you. No offense that lifestyle is all good and fun in the now but later down the road they forget what real happiness is its sad. You can even look it up from all the retired porn stars.
Graffiti - Do you see that this girl's VOCATION is to make men fall in love with her?
She does that by offering herself, visually for sexual fantasy. And sometimes, she does it in person.
I imagine she has "friends" ALL over the country . . . you are just one of them.
Find a gal who wants to be with you ONLY and will give you all her ATTENTION.
Right now, you are one in many. And she doesn't seem like the type to give it all up for just one guy. These kinds of gals need constant attention all the time. They don't bond with just one guy.
You have all good advices in the posts above. See when we speak to someone more than the limits we automatically start to fall in love with that person. So all you need to do is change whom you speak more to. Find another girl of your choice to talk to. You feel you can't distance yourself from her. You don't have to force yourself if you are not ready for that. But what you can do is try find another good relation. I read somewhere "to change a bad habit all you have to do is incorporate some good habits and focus more on them."
As for her this is just her job. She is not attached to you and will never be. Her priorities are not love but only sex and fame. You have to eventually let her go, there is no choice here.