Really need advice asap
(im 18, he's 20)
i've recently been seeing a guy who i thought could've been the one, but doesn't actually want a relationship.
He first said he was the type of guy to get in to relationships, not go out and sleep with a million girls. He recently broke up with his girlfriend 2 months ago, we first only kissed a few times, then went and got coffee together, which i thought may have been a date. He texts me all day everyday, comes over late at night to watch movies when he has to be up at 5 for work.
he picked me up from the pub on the weekend, came back to mine and we slept together, and cuddled all night and all morning. i asked if he was just using me for sex and he said 'why would i try this hard if i only wanted sex'. He tells me how beautiful i am, and i shouldn't judge myself so much.
yesterday he said he'd come over an watch movies with me, and he was online on facebook all night and never replied to my messages..
He's said to me: are you expecting us to start dating and shit? cause im not looking for a relationship at the moment and that doesn't mean i'm using you for sex either..
i told him i wasn't looking for one either, which is a lie because he is absolutely perfect but i didn't want to lose him completely. he then said good i was just checking, cause i dont want you to get hurt if you get too attached.
he calls me as soon as he gets home from mine and stays on the phone until he falls asleep, messages me good night and good morning everyday.
i just don't know what to do, or what he wants. He's sending me so many mixed signals and i just can't deal with getting hurt again.
I would advice you to proceed with caution here. He is not fully healed with his breakup and is probably just being with you coz you take his mind off his hurt. There are chances he could get back with his ex leaving you hurt if you proceed. He has been pretty frank with you when he said he is not looking for relationship or sex. I would go with that.
Yes, take it slow.
Give him 2 more months. If he does not act like he wants to build a relationship with you, then consider that he is very lonely now and somewhat needy and needs a friend, not a GF right now.
You may just be a "rebound" from his breakup.
As people have readily noted. He's made his expectations clear, and what he wants. Which from the sounds of it, right now is strictly a platonic friendship.
As he said, try not to get too attached. Since if he does end up with having no feelings or not getting with you at some point, you'll get emotionally wrecked. You don't want that. Try to fixate off of him for some time and don't let your feelings go crazy.
There is a risk of getting hurt, there is also a risk of getting with him. He evidently cares for you, as he doesn't want you to get hurt either.
So just try and get some more independence from his feelings occupying your mind. Hang out with friends and family or part-take in some hobbies. So that this person doesn't consume your life, since if he does then if you lose him or something goes not according your expectation you will get hurt quite a bit.
I hope that helped, good luck with that situation and I hope you have a wonderful day