So my boyfriend and I have been together for over three years now. I am 26 and he is 28. We have been thru a lot, but what I should really say is that he has been thru a lot and I have been there to support him the whole time. We fell in love instantly and the day I met him, I knew he was my soul mate. Soon to find out, he told me he didn’t drive because he has epilepsy. I actually had a seizure disorder when I was a child and had over 100 seizures so I could relate and that didn’t bother me at all. The great person, overshined that! Down the line I also found out that he had drug and alcohol issues. Just recently he was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. Through the years that we have been together, he made mistakes with relapsing and his seizures worsened. I stood by him and supported him, when no one else was there because I still knew that deep down inside he was an amazing man. He is my best friend and truly the man that I want a future with! After years of being together, he stopped working and he had to stop school because his seizures took over his life. He became very depressed and said that "he just wanted to be a normal person and live a normal life" I knew that he was down, but I got him in to see a therapist and took him to his appointments and always told him how much he meant to me and that we was wonderful. I always told him I loved him very much and gave him compliments all the time. We enjoy each others company and we just fit together so perfectly…Well over a month ago, he broke up with me and said that we should both go our seperate ways and that I deserve better and that the guy that lands me is going to be the luckiest guy! He said that he loves me and always will. I was heartbroken. We lived together. As I was packing my things to move out, I found bottles and knew that he had relapsed. I have always been the person that is calm and understanding and have always told him I would always be there to support him and he if he ever needed to talk or felt like drinking that he could talk to me. Since we have broken up, we have talked a couple of times on the phone and met twice in person. He texts me, you forgot these things here, you can come by to pick them up. The two times that I had met up with him, we connected so well and we told each other how much we meant to each other and we had intimate moments. He has asked for space and has told me now that, this is just a break. He appologised about how he approached me with all of this and how everything went down. He told me that he loves me and cares about me a lot, but he said that he is not well mentally nor physically and he can’t give me what I deserve right now. He said that he needs time to work on himself so he can feel confident and love himself. He said he needs to be able to deal with his issues alone and its not fair to depend on me. He said that he can’t be in a relationship right now because he is not healthy and has a lot of things that he needs to do for himself. He said that he is trying hard to get better and better his life to get back to me.I love this man very much. I believe him when he says that he loves me. I believe him when he says that this is a break and we just need some time apart. I am just hurting right now because all i want to do is be with the person that is my best friend, my soulmate and the love of my life. We saw each other a week ago today and ended things with the same thing, he loved me and this was a break and we just need space right now. I told him that I was going to respect him and give him that space and that I was going to leave the ball in his court if he wanted to contact me and that I wouldnt call him. Not because I didn’t want to, but because he asked for space. This week has been really hard because all i have wanted to do is call him and hear his voice and tell him how much i love him, but i didn’t. We had a conversation tonight after seven days and he called me, but it was to tell me that he was leaving for his family vacation on Friday and I don’t get done work till after he will already be gone for a week, that he was putting out a bag of treats he found for our dog that I have and a blanket that is his that my cat loved. Do you think that he just called me because he missed me and wanted to hear my voice? Did he really call to tell me, that he wanted to give me some things for the pets. The treats have been sitting in the cabinet for how long and that blanket was his, not my cats. I told him that I missed him and that i loved him and he said that he misses me too and he still loves me. He also says this is just a break and he would love for us to be together again. He said time will tell. I asked him what he told his parents and he said that we are just taking some space and time apart for now. I asked him what I should tell people when they ask about us. He said tell that we are on a break and taking some time apart for now. I want to trust that this is a break and we will end up getting back together, slowly but surely, but he is still asking for space and I don’t know how much time is enough and how much time is too much to walk away. Please someone help me!
Its evident that he still loves you. I believe its his health issues and his love for you thats forcing him to stay away from you.
If you both will get back together or not will depend on how strongly you feel and tell him that you can't be without him. I feel you need to be more assertive on this with him if you don't want to lose him. You can wait with no contact till his vacations are done and after he is back, then have a serious talk.
WHY the "break"?
Unless he is going into treatment, why does he feel that he must be away from you -just when he might need a friend?
Something is not right here.
Personally, I think he wants to get away from you so he can use his alcohol.
Time will tell.
He said that he wants to become independent when it comes to being able to care for himself because he feels like he depends on me a lot and that is not fair.
He is currently seeing a therapist. He is working on his resume and looking for a temp job. He will be home on Sunday. What should i say to him?
I have cried and told him how much he means to me and i want to be with him. I told him i love him more than anything and thats what people do when they love each other, they are there for that person and support them and help them in time of need. He says that he feels like he needs to learn how to take care of himself and he needs to figure things out alone. He said he wants to be a normal person and live a normal life and he is struggling with that because he doesn't drive and he doesn't work and he is depressed. Nothing is going the way that he had hoped for. These seizures came later in his life at the age of 24 right when all those big life changes happen. He is 12 credits shy from a bachelors degree in the field that he is so passionate about. I just don't think he feels good enough or successful or anything is ever going to happen for him. I want to be there, but it just seems like he keeps saying i need to become independent and learn how to take care of myself and get my life together. He said he is trying really hard so he can get back to me, but we are still on a break. HOW LONG IS THIS BREAK GOING TO BE? ITS KILLING ME! I have told him how much he means to me and the way i see him is that he is perfect and plenty good enough for me.
I, i, i, that is all you are saying!!! I want to be there for him, I cant do this, i asked him this, i asked him..Get a grip woman!! You are not listening to HIM!!!! HE wants time apart to work on HIS issues without you! That could take a few days a few weeks a few months but let him breath!!!!! Everything has been about how YOU got him help, how you took him to appointments how you did blah blah but he clearly wants to do this himself!!!! He is not breaking up with you he just wants to sort out his issues!!! Let him be!!!!!
If and when he needs you, he will call out to you but in the mean time, if you really do love him then listen to what he is saying and understand it..Give him space