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Boyfriend's mom is manipulative

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Relationship advice I started dating my boyfriend a year and a half ago. I love him so much and knows he loves me. He never cheats or hurts me.

I met my boyfriend's family and we got along at first. We had a rocky start because his mom told him she didn't like me for something I said. My boyfriend told I should make it right by confronting her. I've had rose-colored glasses, because I didn't realize how much of a hold she had on him and me until my birthday.

I normally don't have anything special for my birthday, but this time I decided to chill with my friends after spending time with his family and everyone else at my birthday shindig. After everything, we decided to go home to his parents house. Before you left my house, my boyfriend gets a text from his brother saying that my friends were not socializing with anyone at my shindig and that his mom was mad because she made me a birthday cake and we never showed up. It was supposed to be a surprise but how were we supposed to know?

Against my better judgement, I apologized to make my bf happy. Later that same week, my bf was getting ready to leave for two weeks so his mom threw him a party at her place. She started saying comments like "I guess nobody is eating this birthday cake so ill have to throw it out". She even told my bfs 6-year old neice that I only like my bf because he bought me a nice necklace. I wouldnt like him so much if he didn't get me much. My boyfriend was sitting right there and said nothing. If I comfront his mom, she will nitpick at everything she finds wrong with me until she hits a sore spot. I can't come back with anything because I will be considered "disrespectful" and my bf will blame me for attacking his mom. I know breaking is an option but I love him too much to make that decision without a fight. Is there anything I can do stand my ground and still salvage my relationship?


Boyfriend's mom is manipulative

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I say just ignore it. How much time do you spend over there anyway? I would just avoid her and hang with your Bf at your parents house or wherever. If she isn't influencing your BF to treat you bad then don't worry about it.

If she or your boyfriend ask why you don't go over there any more just state you don't feel welcome.

Info from a six year old isn't exactly the most accurate by the way.

There is no rule that states you have to like his mom or his mom like you. Just be civil as best you can and let any snide remarks slide off you.

What did you say that she didn't like any way? Maybe she feels you are the snide one and have rude friends.
Seems like all that happened (aside from a 6 year olds comments) was that she got upset that she made a cake for you and you were not there to eat it.

So: 1. she didn't like something you said, 2. she made you a cake for your b-day but you didn't get it due to a mix up, 3. you got 2nd hand info from a 6 year old about something she may (or may not) have said that was rude, 4. she brought up again the cake issue.

Really doesn't seem like its worth starting up a fight about.

Boyfriend's mom is manipulative

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I apologize for not being clear. I didn\\\'t get the info from a 6 year old. His mom, in front of everyone, including me, said that to the six year old.

I am invited to her house but she does get on her son\\\'s case if he spends even one day with me. According to my bf, he said she always pushes his gfs away. Im the first one to stay for as long as this. The rude comment was directed to her son. He made of me jokingly about how I can\\\'t count and so I said the same thing back to him. As soon as I found out, I apologized. Keep in mind, that was a year and a half ago.

I want to have a relationship with all of his family, which is why I spent every weekend with his family for the duration of our entire relationship.

Also, the entire family tells me she\\\'s manipulative. She belittles my boyfriend and tells him stuff like not even coming home if he spends the night at my house.

I would to just ignore her and not even talk to her but that\\\'s not an option unless I don\\\'t ever want to be with my bf. He cant stand what she does but it\\\'s his mom. I\\\'m not going to tell him not to spend time with his family.

Boyfriend's mom is manipulative

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Thank you for clarifying, that makes much more sense.

Maybe the both of you should have a sit down with her and let her know how you BOTH feel. She cant keep her son single forever and she is only going to alienate herself from him, his future spouse and any grandkids as well.
I suggest you ALL sit down and let the facts be know. If she refuses to change is there any future for the two of you? would still have a relationship with him without his mothers approval?

Also I wouldn't let stuff "ride". If she said rude remarks towards you speak up right away and ask her strait out why she is being so rude to you. Example for when you heard her talk about you to the niece: "Excuse me, why did you tell her that? It is completely untrue. If you have doubts about my feelings for your son you may express them to me but I don't appreciate you speaking negatively about me or stating things about me that are false."

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