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I Am Stuck

Posted by
ZUZI
on Dec 22 2008 at 14:09
Member since: 22 December 2008
Relationship advice forum category advice forum category Hi

I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year. We had a lovely loving relationship, but maybe for 4 months I feel very unhappy sa we live distance and see eachother only weekends.

I ussualy go to him, as I live in London and he is doesnt like it here.

We talket already to move together, he said in short time. But things basicaly dont work like before, I am very unhappy and depressed here, and he doesnt like me to be like that, but also I dont see he is trying to help me to get throught.

He told me he doesnt want me to move with him, as he is happy like that, even that he knows I am lonely here and now in January I have to leave my apartment, so I need to look for some living on my own, and I know I will be depressed and unhappy.

He even complained that I am unhappy as we see eachother every weekend.

I dont know anymore. I miss him so much during the week.

Now I am suppose to spend Christmas in his house, but I am not sure that I am welcome.

He said we will be together,but not yet, as he had 6 years relationship and that did not work. He said he needs to be sure, doesnt want to do another mistake.

I really dont what to do. We are normally very happy, but i got shocked that he doesnt really care i will be on my own here.

I just feel, he doesnt miss me at all. If he see me twice a months, he will be fine. He said that we have no choice, that I am in London and he is 3 hours away, we have to cope, and he is better to have me like that then at all.

But I feel that we can be together, he just doesnt really want.

I feel that one year is enough to find out if you really love the other person to share the house together.

If we would live in the smae town, it would be different, but distance is not helping at all. I feel that is breaking us.

Please give me the advice.

Maybe I am not patient, I am really stuck what to do with my life anymore.

I am so unhappy and depressed. I feels embarassed to even talk to someone about that.

Many Thanks

I am stuck
Reply from
MR A
on Dec 23 2008 at 03:07
Member since: 23 December 2008
Hello Zuzi...this is a tough one..one year is a long time but not as long as you may think...the distance doesnt help i agree as regular communication iis one of the best assets of a relationship... you must understand that moving in with a partner is a big step.. not matter how small you think it is... there has to be a mutual agreement on what would be best before taking such a big action.. this issue must be approached in the most non selfish manner possible or it could end up breaking the relationship... make sure he knows how you feel and what you want.. listen to what he wants then work it out... maybe try meet in the middle of all the needs and wants.. it is a little unfair you have to go all the way everytime to meet him... he needs to make the same sort of effort... ask him what he wants from the relationship... and if it doesnt suit you..then maybe its time to move on...it will be hard but you and everyone else can do it..Talk to him... depression is a dangerous thing if it gets worse make sure you see your local GP..good luck.. Mr A x
I am stuck
Reply from
PLIPPY
on Dec 23 2008 at 22:29
Member since: 23 December 2008
hello there, i am in a similar situation, well very similar. Distance is an extremely hard thing to deal with and is definately a two way street, it isnt nice to feel unwanted. Think it is important to keep busy and not overly think things. Maybe try not to care too much, see what he does when you dont pay him so much attention, try a few weekends not seeing each other and see what it does. It might make sense to have a break from one another, and see what happens. My advice is keep busy and keep happy, after all its christmas.xx

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