Crazy about this girl, have no idea what to do, how she feels
I'm very new to posting questions on forums and I usually wouldn't do this, but I think I really need some help. I know my problem may not seem very serious, but I just can't get my mind off this.
Anyways, there is this girl I am crazy about. She's beautiful, makes me smile whenever I see her, and just wonderful to be around. I could go on and on on why I like her, but it really all just comes down to is whenever I'm around her she makes me smile. I have been crazy about since I was a sophomore in high school, but I'm just kind of passive and I haven't ever made any actions to be in a relaitonship with her, although I certainly have thought about it. We have always been friendly with each other, we joked around a lot, talk at parties, and texted sometimes, although I certainly wouldn't we were extremely close in high school, we just were friendly with each other. I was always just too afraid and didn't really know what to do at all. I could never tell if she really liked me, she laughed at my jokes and we had some inside jokes, but that's about it. We both were in classes together quite a bit, and we both were played varsity volleyball. Only things she did that made me think there was a chance she actually liked me as more as a friend as well was once my goofy friend jokingly told her that I wanted to touch her butt and she said go ahead. Otherwise she mostly was just sort of friendly with me. We never really hung out with each other outside of school, and she was just as friendly with me as most of her guy friends.
I just completed my first year at post-secondary school out of town, and now is where the story gets more interesting. I will note that I worked out quite a bit since I left so I lost some fat and got more toned and I began styling my hair more. I always have been very involved with sports, but I definitely got a bit out of shape in my later years of high school and got into much better shape after I graduated. Anyways I hadn't texted her since I originally left in the previous summer, and I don't use social media that much, so we never really kept in touch. Since I have come back home for the summer I saw her at her work once, and she just came over and we chatted for a bit, but mostly just talked about general stuff like how our year was. I saw her again at the gym a couple weeks later, and she came over and talked to me again, but mostly about general stuff. Anyways I work at a little bowling alley, and she came to the alley with some of her friends that same night. She was a bit drunk, but she seemed to have awareness and was able to walk and talk fine, but she was extremely touchy with me and extremely friendly. I have been with her at parties where she had been drinking last summer, but she had never really been this touchy feely before. I found it especially odd with me since we were never super close and never made that much physical contact before except maybe like little kicks, poking and that kind of just playful small touches. Anyways she did things like holding my hand when she was talking to me. She complimented me a fair bit, and also commented a lot about me working out and on how she saw me at the gym. She also said, "He works out, look at those biceps" and started grabbing my biceps. Anyways when they were leaving she was still extremely friendly, and talked with me 1 on 1 at the front desk where I work when her friends were sitting at a table. Before she left she asked me if I was in town all summer and I told her I would be, then suddenly hugged me really tight and said "good we'll see each other lots then." while she was hugging me, which I found odd cause she never really hugged me ever even when drunk in high school. I wasn't sure if this is a sign she really likes me, or if she just acted that way cause she was drunk. Its not the most serious signs, but it was definitely different behaviour then what I'm use to.
I texted her a few days later, mostly just joking around, although she seemed interested and entertained at the very least. I haven't seen her for a little while now. I just don't really know what to do. I really enjoy seeing her, even if it is just small little conversations. I don't really know what to do, I'm not sure if she's even interested in me as more than a friend. I don't really know how I can I see her or talk to her more often, and I really don't like having large conversations over text cause my conversations are just robotic and doesn't flow smoothly like a face to face conversation with friends which is why I usually just joke over text. Also I don't like having to be the one to text first every time, even though she always texts back, it doesn't feel good, and the last thing I want to do is be annoying. I don't know how I can smoothly ask her to just hang out with me considering we didn't even hang out with each other in high school where we saw each other way more often. I need as much help as I can get with this. I really like being around this girl. I would really like an outside person's opinion on the matter, and maybe some help. If you have any questions that might help you give me feedback, I would be willing to answer any questions or go into more detail with my situation. Thanks you all very much for taking the time to read this.
Nothing will happen if neither of you will make a move. Next time you see her, ask her how she really feels about you. Or you could try making hints you like her see if she responds to what you say or do. Then it will eventually lead to one of you opening up.
No need to spill your guts about how you feel. Just ask her out - to a movie or some kind of event or just for coffee.
You seem to have a bit of social anxiety. You will get over that by interacting with people - get off the computer.
PS - Watch her drinking! She seems to be able to interact with you only when she has been drinking. THAT is a bad sign. Both of you seem scared of each other. She gets her courage by drinking and you are still looking for courage.
May I ask your ages?
I interact with people lots, just personal stuff and relationships I'm unsure what to do.
Also not to be rude or anything, but isn't it a bit presumptuous to think that I'm on the computer all the time? I do use the computer, but hardly say I'm on it too much. I am a very active person and try to get out of the house as much as I can.
Also she does interact with me when she is sober, just she isn't super touchy and we mostly just joke around.
To answer your question she is 19, I am 18 turning 19.
Concerning your advice. Do I just ask her out to coffee out of the blue or what? I don't know, it just seems weird.
Also judging from the original post does the girl seem interested in me at all, or am I just imagining things?
I read a book once called "is it love or lust". I guess deep down we know at the beginning perhaps? If it is love then maybe marriage is an or the option perhaps? If lust, then maybe wait for love perhaps. Cheers and God bless.
You both are high schools friends therefore she may like you or she may just see you as a school friend. How will you know? If you approach her for a date!!!!!
You say you both text each other and I know you are not into texting but send her a text asking her to come out to a great restaurant you know of. You both are high school friends so forget the formality of asking her for a cofee. Just try and send a very casual text. Her response will tell you what you need to know
Just to add. Try not to look into things too much otherwise you will just work yourself up. Good luck
If you are worried about asking her out for a meal at a restaurant or something then don't. You need to feel comfortable with how you approach her about your feelings. You got on well when you were in high school - that is good. However, that was in high school. You need to ask yourself whether it is more friendship than what it is on maybe moving things into dating or even a relationship. The last thing you want is to ruin your friendship or even hurt either yourself or this girl you like.
Try texting her asking if she wants to hang out sometime. If you don't feel comfortable with that then maybe drop a hint like it has been a while since we last saw eachother. It will be good to catch up sometime - See what her response is. Just go with the flow. This might sound cheesy but if there is flirting involved when you see eachother tell her how beautiful you think she is. Comment on her laugh or something. Just focus on her reactions - but stay calm don't worry too much and just get to know her again.