When they say let's take a break
So, I have been dating this guy online for 5 years now. We see each other as much as possible with plane fare rates and all, and used to talk with each other every night. We have had some issues over the years, what relationship hasn't? However we always seemed to work through them.
I have literally given him everything, my time and patience- my encouragement and support. He has severe depression and lives in an abusive household with a manipulative mother who has control issues. When I met him, he was friendless and desperate- I have helped him through all these years and finally he has made a group of supporting friends who he can rely on.
Now that he has them though, it feels like he no longer needs me. For the past six months he has been incredibly distant, and he been impatient with me when I've been going through some rough patches. I was just looking for a little comfort but he snapped at me and doesn't seem to be content unless I am giving him everything all the time. It's like he doesn't care at all anymore. He just want's to be with his friends and recently after all these rocky months he has told me he wanted to take a break.
I said sure, not really knowing what to say. Now I think I may have made a mistake though. So, he hasn't contacted me in two weeks and I am suffering all the loneliness that comes with a legitimate break up. I am so torn at this point. One part of me wants to go back to what we had before all of this.
Another part though tells me that this relationship seems abusive, since he seems to be hurting me and using me- and I just made the wrong choice again by letting him take this 'break' since if he was actually concerned with our relationship wouldn't he be working on it with me and not without me? I feel so lost right now, I always give my all in relationships and it's like the people I am with use me and leave better than when they started with me and I am just left a little more wrecked each time.
I don't know what to do anymore.
How does it sound to the rest of you?
It sounds like you need to trust your instincts when you said, "I think I made a mistake."
What is your loneliness all about? You would rather be in an abusive relationship than feel a little lonely?
Find a nice man who can have a quality relationship with you. get going, TODAY!!
First of all, I don't know about your situation but dating someone for 5 years online and not making the move to be closer to one another by now seems a bit odd. Did both of you choose it to be that way or just one of you or is that just how it had to be because of your circumstances? Also, the relationship seems really unbalanced. It sounds like you were his only support for the time being and now he doesn't need you for that anymore. He has to love you for more than just that support for it to continue you know?
I was recently in a relationship with a man who was so involved with himself all the time . After a while I came to realize all my energy was going to him and I wasn't getting anything accomplished for myself. I got tired of being drained from the constant giving on my part. Your relationship with him is unhealthy and you deserve so much better. It also may not be wise to rush into anything new if you two are over for good.. Give yourself time to grieve, heal, and get to know more about you and what you want in a mate before you move onto the next person. There is always a lesson waiting to be learned in circumstances like this in life. See what this lesson is. Figure out what you need to learn from this first, so you do not attract this type of unhealthy relationship again. I know you have invested alot in this guy but sometimes the universe wants to take us to bigger and better things. I would not push if everything is pointing to "move on".
5 years is a long time. Your relationship should have been moving forward to something more then just speaking on the phone and a few visits. He may just want a more traditional relationship where he can sit next to and hug his woman any time he wants. He asked for a break and now hasn't spoken to you for two weeks. Hes moved on. Don't wait for him. He may come back once his current situation falls through but don't fall for it.