Wanting a family
I've been in the foster care system since I was 8 years old, and I'm still hoping to be adopted. I've lived in over 20 homes during the past 8 years. I am starting to get incredibly disheartened and frustrated with moving so many times.
I have trouble making friends or forming close relationships with anyone because I don't stay in one place long, I'm shy around new people, and I have a speech impediment that makes it difficult to communicate.
I feel like nobody wants me or cares about me. It's getting less and less likely I'll be adopted as I get older (I only have 1.5 years left until I'm 18 and have no chance). Due to issues with past foster families and stupid choices I made in the past, I don't look appealing at all to the families wanting to adopt.
Anyway, even if I don't get officially adopted, I just want a family. I to care about people who care about me back and like having me around. I want to feel like I belong somewhere and like there's a reason I'm here besides being shoved around like I'm someone's unwanted garbage.
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about this. I know the feeling of being abandoned and feel like no one loves you. That happened to me at a very young age. Sweetheart, this void you feel will go away when you fill it with your own self-love. Don't look outside yourself for love from anyone...give it to yourself. Write yourself letters, be your own best friend, treat yourself to things you would like to treat others to. I promise if you do this and continually do it, your life will change. You will either attract a family to adopt you or find the right person to start your own family with. P.S. forgive yourself also for your past mistakes (no one is perfect) and show love to others every chance you get and you will see things start to change. Don't hang onto or give anymore attention to self-pity, remorse, guilt, shame, etc..these will only block the good from coming to you.
With only one and a half years left there will be little time before you are out in the world on your own. there is still time for a family (if not a legal family) there a people out there that can be like family to you. When you are legally on your own you can choose to live in one place and meet others who will become your own, personally chosen family. Also the poor choices you have made, learn from them. My ex husband was in foster homes when he was young, when he and I met and were married he made poor chioced that cause me to divorce him later. So when you find your new family don't forget that you can loose them if you do not treat them well. You are still young and have plenty of time to have a family. I have met women in my mid twenties that have become like sisters, and elderly women who have become like aunts or grandmothers to me.