Love Match Calculator

Should I Reach Out To A Friend That I Told I Couldn't Be Friends With Anymore?

Posted by
on Jul 9 2014 at 00:42
Member since: 09 July 2014
Relationship advice I was friends with a girl for a long time (a few years) and we worked at the same place. I left this place last year and when she found out she was upset and wanted to stay in touch. A little background info, I had had somewhat of a crush on this girl for awhile. Anyway, we ended up going on a few dates, and I'm not sure what to call them, whether they were friend dates or romantic ones. It got a little more engaged, to the point where we were talking a lot when we weren't on these "dates". I would wake up to "Good Morning" texts almost everyday, she would call and we'd talk about things we were going through. It even got to the point where she asked if she could come hang out at my place. To me, it seemed like she may have been getting interested in me romantically, so I decided to come out and let her know how I felt about her. She ended up rejecting me, but I kept pushing her because I really felt like she was denying that she felt anything. It got to the point where it was starting to feel like a mind game and I told her we couldn't be friends anymore, because it was just starting to take a toll on me. After I told her that, she blocked me out of her life completely, from all social media and otherwise. Since that incident I've often wondered if I made a mistake in pushing for an answer from here. Maybe she really didn't have any feelings for me? Maybe she did and didn't want to admit to it? Either way, I know what I did probably wasn't the best way to go about it. I've thought about the situation and her a lot more lately, and to my surprise I noticed that she unblocked me on of the social media sites (Facebook). I'm wondering if I should reach out to her and apologize for the way I went about things and see what she says, at the least.
Should I reach out to a friend that I told I couldn't be friends with anymore?
Reply from
on Jul 9 2014 at 01:17
Member since: 27 December 2013
No need to apologize. You were honest with her. you wanted more and she didn't so you needed to move on. Nothing wrong with that.

Just because you have been unfriended does not mean that she has changed her mind. She is just stating that she will be your friend, nothing more.

If you can stand being in this "friend zone" then start talking to her. But she has already let you know how far things are going to go.

Should I reach out to a friend that I told I couldn't be friends with anymore?
Reply from
on Jul 9 2014 at 18:33
Member since: 08 June 2014
You really need to know yourself and your limits for this one. Can you handle being just a friend? None of that "well maybe she will eventually be my gf" or "if she sees how good we are together then maybe..." Dont do that. It is just setting your self up for more heart break. If you can be a friend and only a friend and are ok with watching her date other men and flirt with them on social media, watching her post picture of her and other men together, then I would say if she requests a friend invite sure accept. Don't ask for it. Don't contact her. She needs to be the one to contact you. If you don't feel like you can watch her carry on with her life and other people then I suggest just staying away from her.

There are other people to be friends with, ones that your heart isn't attached to in this way. And don't be so fast to forget the feelings you had when you though she was playing mind games. Is she the type to give special attention and hugs or shoulder rubs and place her head on your shoulder? Is that why you were getting the ideas? Can you live with that again? You need to know your limits.

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