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My boyfriend

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Relationship advice It all started on Friday when we were riding to visit family at the beach, I was in the car with my mom and my boyfriend. He got upset over the shirt that I was wearing and he asked me (in an aggravated voice) if I noticed and if I would change, I simply said no because of the reaction he had. He started yelling at me and my mom started to explain to him my point of view. I have yelled at him one time, but I did I apologize for it and I have not done it since, however, he has done it a couple times and kept apologizing. (He is only off on the weekends, he works out of town Monday-Friday.)

Saturday night he asked me if I wanted to go out to eat on Sunday, I told him that we would see. He went and spent the night at his friend's house that night, whom I don't like, then Saturday morning he wanted me to go pick him up, I'm not comfortable around his friend and I told him that I did not want to and explained why. He said that he doesn't trust his friend driving and didn't want him to come to my house, he claimed to not have any other ride. Although, a little bit later he told me that he was going to go an hour away to buy a go-cart, I was very mad because he said he did not have a ride and wanted to see me. He got his dad to take him an hour away, but he couldn't come 5 miles down the road. I was very pissed off and I messaged my girl friend's to see if we were still going to hang out on Tuesday, when one of the girls said that they couldn't we tried to find another day, but every other day that week we were all busy. The other girl asked if we could go over that night and we both said that we could. My boyfriend got really pissed off because he thought that I canceled our plans, he ended up coming to my friend's house and trying to start an argument that I wouldn't participate in. Throughout this time he was talking to my mom and she was trying to explain to him why I went to my friend's house, he ended up saying that she was lying about something. This really pissed her off later on.

My mom thinks that he will end up hurting me because he is "disrespectful." My boyfriend and I talked it out and it seemed like he didn't understand why saying that she was lying was disrespectful. We were pretty much alone when we were talking/arguing (his sister was upstairs), he never once yelled at me or tried to hit me. I feel like I'm being torn in two because of how my mom and my boyfriend are acting. I honestly feel like my boyfriend and I could really make things work, I just want them to fix their issues. We've only been together for 5 months, but I have been in love with him for 5 years.

My boyfriend

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He drove over to your friends house for the sole purpose of arguing!? That seems a bit much.

Is this frequent? Or has this only started happening recently? If these are the only few occasions in the 5 months you've been together I'd say there is little problem.

If it is frequent there is a problem that he needs to fix. If he apologizes a lot after that is some progress. He needs to learn not to go out of this way so much though, driving down to you for the sole purpose of an argument is a lot of dedication of being angry. Plus the first thing he got angry about was absurd, such a tiny thing that he tried to control and make you change your shirt. If he argues over small things like that, and those small things make him "yell" Again quite concerning.

It sounds like he concentrates or is fixated on you too much. Does he spend a lot of time with other friends? Or is he constantly spending time with you all the time? If he is dependent on you a lot, then perhaps he should try getting more independent? That way the little things you do should not cause him to get this overly flustered.

Obviously, your boyfriends actions and mentalities are out of your control, so it's up to him trying to fix this issue. But it does need to be fixed, I imagine if it continues it can only get worse, and no one wants that. So give him support, point out when he's unreasonable and try to get him to understand not to go out of his way over things like this and to approach it in a calm manner. There is no urgency in engaging on arguments to out of his way to do so.

He also needs to have more faith in you, jumping on the idea you canceled your plans with him was rather rash. He should have had faith and trust and waited for that time to come, and if you didn't come and keep the plans then he can get angry, since you wouldn't have communicated it to him.

As for your mother and boyfriend divide, I don't think that should really affect you all that much. Take your mothers opinion into consideration sure if it's valid. But don't let the fact she has this attitude towards him deter you from the relationship. I'm sure she doesn't view any less of you, since at the end of the day it's your relationship not hers. If you want to stay in it even though to her it seems like it's going, then so be it. You know the relationship better than she does and your the one who it effects mainly.

If you feel they can fix their issues then give them time and see how it turns out. If your boyfriends actions change, so should your mothers attitude towards him.

Just be supportive and point out whenever he displays this trait, that is if he's been doing it for a while over the 5 months anyway.

I hope that helped, good luck with your relationship and have a wonderful day. :)

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