I want sex but not as much as him
CARDINAL - Jul 17 2014 at 01:38
My husband basically turned my into a nympho (hope I spelled that right). I want sex with him all the time. He tells me no more than yes. It makes me feel insecure. I have tried strip tease and role play and toys and just you name it and I've tried it with him to keep it interesting and enjoyable. He will go on and gloat to his friends because he has a hot wife and we do all this stuff together, but at home he refuses me. Hey, I get that he is tired. He is gone a lot at work but it's not that much hard labor trust me. Most of the time they sit in the truck on site. So, when he is home I want it. A lot. But, he doesn't. I really feel that this is supposed to be the other way around. Shouldn't the guy be begging while the girl make him work for it? Before anyone says anything about cheating, I promise you on anything that he is not. I can say that I know this for a fact. 1 reason being he is not a good liar and 2 because his pushing me away has made me insecure and I have checked. Everything and a lot. I don't worry about that anymore. I just want to know if there is something wrong with me? I can't keep it from him because when I do he would just go finish himself off. Also, I think the bigger problem is that for a while now, he has not had stamina and I have even cried because of it. We both really get into it and he just loses focus and climaxes within a few minutes sometimes less. I really don't know what to do but us being in our 20s and just recently married this should not be happening, right? I am not conceited but I'm also not gloating when I say I know I am very attractive and sexy. I just don't know how to help him or myself or whatever the heck this is. I've even asked him if he is gay but he strongly says he is not. Any advice?
I totally understand you. This is an issue for me to. My partner have fought and fought over the issue. The only solution we have found it that he has to do more fore play (so it doesn't end too quick) and has to understand that we have different ideas of what "enough sex" is. We agree on a number that we can both live with and go with it. its not perfect but its working (for the most part). Trust me I never had this problem when I was single. But that's not why I chose to be with this person so now it is just something we have to compromise on and try to make each other happy.
I cant tell you how much this mirrors my situation. I COMPLEATLY understand, the crying, the feeling like you are not sexy enough even though you get hit on all day by other men, the feeling anger and resentment.
He really needs to just work with you. Im glad you haven't cheated on him but It gets hard not to after so long of this. He really needs to understand that this is a real need for you. Passion is something that certain people just do not want to do with out. And why should they?
You hit the nail on the head. However, foreplay gets him off faster. :( And yes my loyalty is actually one of the reasons he loves me because he is away at work a lot. He was the same with his exwife and she cheated on him but it was because she was a crazy biotch and not that he was away at work. She had been doing it almost their entire relationship. But I have brought that up to him before. "If you don't want to worry about me cheating on you then give it to me" or "Is this why she cheated on you? Because you wouldn't give it up?" It is below the belt for me and I normally don't. That's his thing. But it really really hurts when he comes quickly then promises me more later that evening before bed then when I am ready he says no. That's yet another time that just adds to the crying and insecurity. I also have to remind him that HE is the one who got me all sexed up and wanting him all the time! lol