I'm obsessing over a friend who dumped me 2 years ago
Okay, this may sound crazy but I don't know what to do anymore. So I am a 20 year old female who is currently in a relationship. I don't even know where to start. When I was 13 I met a guy on the internet who has mutual friends with me, and we instantly became close. I was never interested in him romantically but he always had strong feelings for me and even said he was in love with me after about a year of talking. We were good friends and hung out regularly and after about 3 years of talking he introduced me to one of his best friends. Long story short, I fell in love with his frond and we started dating. We have been together for 4 years now.
Anyway me and the guy remained extremely close friends and he seemed to accept the fact that I was with his friend and the three of us became close as ever. He even began living with my boyfriend because at that time they were both adults, I was 17.
I would always go to him with my problems and he was always there for me. Honestly he was such a great friend and no one in my life has ever been so good to me. I obviously knew he still had feelings for me after 4 years of us being close, and we discussed the fact that I wasn't ever going to consider him any more than basically my best friend. I grew so attached to him. I loved him like I love my brother.
I knew he was lonely and eventually he met a girl (online, again) who was a lot younger than him. She was 15 and he was 20, but I tried my best to welcome her because I wanted him to be happy. At the time, the new girlfriend was cordial to me but inevitably she had a huge problem with how close he and I were.
We had already been friends for 5 years, and I wanted her to get to know me and feel comfortable with me because he said he loved her. I tried on several occasions to talk to her and she seemed to constantly and strongly reject me.
Needless to say, our friendship grew scarce and I stopped seeing and hearing from him a whole lot less.
One day I get a text out of the blue from him saying that he doesn't want me in his life because I was complicating his relationship and to never speak to him again.
I was devastated and angry.
Anyway a few months had gone by and I missed him so much, I had grown so attached to him over the years and I tried to reach out to him 3 different times, each time he wouldn't respond, the girlfriend would, asking me to leave him alone. My final attempt at talking to him, he blocked me from every way I could've contacted him.
It's been 18 months since we have spoken, I am still with his best friend, but they actually rarely speak. He's even said how he missed my boyfriend and has reached out to him a couple times, but basically pretends like I don't exist.
I am obsessed with understanding why he would just cut me out after so many years of close friendship. When I drive by his work I stare at his car. I've driven by his house, I've called and texted although I'm pretty sure my number is blocked from his phone. And I'm just driving myself insane!! I THINK ABOUT IT CONSTANTLY. And I miss him dearly. I have also just had an extremely hard year and it's making it even harder when I need someone there for me.
I don't know what to do... I don't know what this means? Am I crazy? Is he a jerk for doing this? I can't seem to let our relationship go.
PLEASE HELP ME.
don't wry buddy..time is there..think twice thrice b4 u make a decsn..If u really wants go for him.
He has moved on romantically. So you will have to back off on the "closeness" that you shared with him.
It is sad that you lost a good friend, but your real issue is that you need to find a romantic interest who is also your new best friend. Why aren't you that close to your current BF?
Back off and remember the good times.
You are going to have to accept that both of you have moved on.
Yes, I do think you need to let go.
You are forgetting one very important fact. You may say you love him like a brother but he never really loved you like a sister. He developed feelings for you. Based on that, you need to let him go and let him continue with his life.
He may have still had feelings for you or maybe his gf could sense that he had feelings for you therefore they probably both felt it was in the best interest of everyone if they backed off.
I am sure when he is ready he will contact you but even if he doesnt just think of the good times you both spent together and move on. Maybe even try finding that same bond in your current partner.