Recently, his drinking has begun to get worse again - not drinking alone, but out of the 7 days this week he has been drunk 4 of them and has almost lost his job because he was late coming in the following morning/still drunk. Two months ago when he was drunk he swallowed a handful of pills and told me that he tried to kill himself - he said that he wasn't sure why he did it and that he would never try such a thing again but a few weeks later he told me (while drunk) that he didn't want to be alive anymore. But again, after he sobered up he said he was being stupid again and that I shouldn't worry ( how can I not worry? I tried to convince him to go to the Doctor about it but he didn't want to).
His main focus right now is drinking, and because of what has happened before I don't like that he's doing it. Whenever I mention his drinking to him, he gets very angry pretty quickly and does not answer what I'm saying - if its over the phone he normally just hangs up and has a go at me. He thinks I'm just having a go at him, but I am terrified that he's going to do something stupid or is going to make himself ill/make his anxiety worse again - and because he thinks I'm just having a go at him about anything he gets very snippy and we usually get into some kind of argument where he will bring up the fact that I don't have a job right now/that I took a year out of uni/I'm only doing nursing so I'm stupid and he will tell me that I'm a waste of space. I think he is just lashing out because he doesn't want to hear me say these things... I don't know.. I think he's lying to me about his drinking as well, and that he is covering it up - as that's what he did before but when I ask him if he is lying the same thing happens and he snaps. He is not violent, just vocal.
We have been together for over 5 years now, and I'm worried that something will happen to him or to us...
There is no "us" there is only him and his booze.
Your life will be a living hell if this continues. I am surprised that your family allows this to go on.
INSIST that he go into treatment ASAP. Support him in this effort. He is committing a slow suicide unless he gets some help.
Go to Alanon to find out how others live with an alcoholic.
Take care of yourself. . . I have been direct with you because this disease will kill someone who does not want to get help.
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