Dont know what to do. Been married for 14 years. We have had a rocky 3 years and been separated. While separated I had a fling with someone for 4 months. No one knew it was kelp quiet as he is getting married in a couple of months. We decided that we needed to stop seeing each other. It has been 2 months now. My husbane and I are trying to work at our relationship and get back on track. The problem is every morning every lunch and every night when I go to bed I cant get the other man out of my head. It wont stop. What do I do??
If you cant get the other man out of your head, then you really have no business trying to repair your marriage.
You need to both have the same mindset for you to succeed.
The other guy is under your skin but how does he feel about you? If he feels the same, then he really shouldn't be getting married. If you guys had a fling, then where was his future bride? What does this tell you about him?
14 years says alot of history and you need to step back and ask yourself what/who is best for you.
Frankly, I think you'll find that neither are right for you at this time, because your marriage is basically over and the other guy has clouded the issue and more so because it's been kept secret plus he's betrayed you, his future wife and most importantly, himself.
You really cant go back to repair your marriage with secrets because you need transparency, communication and honesty...you don't need confusion, guilt and a longing for a fling from the past.
Your lover betrayed you. You are not seeing that.
I think you are unhappy with your marriage, but don't look for your ex-lover to solve or make this go away.