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Is it love?

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On the 6th of June I met a girl I really liked. We were the only two going to some sort of noddy ICT course for our apprenticeships (I'm 19, she's 17). The first moment I saw her was when I opened a door for her, as soon as I saw her I was quite blown away by her beauty. I was shocked when she then asked me a question (beautiful girls don't normally talk to me as I'm not the prettiest bulb in Wilko's) she asked me if I knew where the ICT room was and I said I was going there myself blah, blah, blah... We got talking and I discovered that she was a really nice and interesting person. I found out that she got the job I had an interview for, that she was polish, she lived on her own etc. When we said our goodbyes she even said that she loved meeting me. This meant so much because I was starting to really fancy her. We were told that we would have a final ICT session in 2 weeks time and for the entire 2 weeks I couldn't stop thinking about her. I couldn't stop think about how perfect she was both inside and out. I was planning what I was going to say to her and everything. That 2 weeks felt like forever and when the big day finally arrived it felt like Christmas! Whilst we didn't talk in the room much (it was an exam) I made sure that I finished first and waited outside for her to finish. We talked merrily about how we found it and so on. I then summoned up the courage to ask her if she wanted a lift back to town, to which she shockingly accepted! We talked in the car, where she told me that she was going on holiday to Poland for 2 weeks. I planned on getting her number or email address or something when I stopped the car, but she wanted to get out whilst I was paused at the traffic lights. We said our goodbyes and it felt bittersweet. Sweet because I talked and drove the girl of my dreams, but bitter because maybe I'd never see her again and maybe she didn't feel the same way. However, I had her work email address because we both had the same apprentice assessor and I remember one time when he emailed us both. I conducted an email basically saying that I really liked her and would love to keep in touch. I waited 2 weeks until she came back from her holiday to send it. I wasn't really expecting a reply because by this time I realised that she would never have feelings for someone as awkward as me. However, she did reply. She said she thought that I was a great person, however she said that she was in a complicated relationship and didn't want anything more than a friendship, she said I could keep in touch with her via Facebook and gave me her personal email. Again, this was bitter sweet. Bitter because of the relationship thing and sweet because she actually wanted to keep in touch! Over the past three weeks we have been emailing each other and talking on Facebook (I made a Facebook account so that I could speak to her). She's all I think about. She's the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to bed. To me she's perfect, and it sounds so stupid after we've only met twice! I don't think the feeling is mutual though. I don't want to come across as lovestruck and needy so I don't message her everyday, even though I totally would if I could! I almost always start the conversation though and she always seems busy doing something else. We did have a fantastic chat for an hour once though, however I'm not sure if she's just being nice. She told me she's feeling depressed and homesick (her parents live in a bigger city, not too far away from our little town) and she's going to move back in with them until she can find a place of her own. I'm worried that I'll never see her again. I don't know if I'm in love or what!? All I know is that after two months of meeting her, she never leaves my thoughts. I've become so desperate that I'm writing on a bloody problem site! I'd love to meet her again and would do anything in the world for her to just feel the same way about me. Is this a passing phase? Sometimes I feel sick at the thought of having a future without her. I'm sorry to babble on for so long (well done if you've made it this far) but this has been bubbling up inside me for too long, and it feels good just to get it all out there. I should probably mention that I've never been lucky in love and have always wanted to have a relationship with someone, so when I met this perfect girl, I thought that all my prayers had been answered! Thanks :)

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