What to do??
I have in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 15 yrs now. The question of kids never comes up in the beginning he wanted then and I didnt now I am willing to compromise and he says no now. We argue all the time or the stupiest/little things, which is frustrating not to mention annoying. I am 30 yrs old and am finally thinking about children sort of but the fact that I am willing to talk about it should count for something. Theres a number of "issues" small but issues. He never wants to watch tv with me or watch a movie with me a night and cuddle. I understand its been 15 yrs but a little hug couldnt hurt somebody. With the movie situation he says I like stupid non funny movies or just girly. ok I can understand that too, but one movie every 8 months is still to much for him to bare. I watch things he likes as well do activities that he likes with no sign of him doing it for me. Sometimes I think we should break up but know he wont be able to make it financially on his own. I know I should care but I do. Ive tried to talk to him about compromising with the movies and activities with no avail we just start argueing and he says he just cant take 2 hrs of a dumb movie. He says I should understand but I dont because I can sit threw a dumb mvie for him.I probably know what I need to do but need to hear it from people that dont know us personally. Thanks for your time and advice in advance.
Its a movie. Can't you both do something else? or does he not want to do anything with you?
if you are 30 and been together for 15 years then Its not surprising that in the beginning he wanted kids and now he doesn't. He grew up. He found out what he wanted in life. People grow and change quite a lot through their teens and twenties.
no not just movies its everything.there is not one thing I can ask to do without there being an issue coming up as to why he thinks we should do something else. And yes I guess everyone does grow up and change but sometimes I feel like hes changing for the better but not for me or us just his reasons. which I guess should be the case but I dont think he should change so much to where I question knowing him at all.
If you both argue over the most smallest things now do you really think having children will change that? No, I think it will make your situation worse.
Work through your issues first before talking about having children.
Sabby, What I understand from what you have written is that you have more focus and attention on him than he has on you. If thats the case and its not working, then its time to change that balance. My advice would be change your focus from him to something else, like may be friends, clubs, activities without him. Get so engrossed in it and see if he misses you in his Life. If he does, he will change to get you back on his priority. If and when that happens, just go with the flow and cooperate with him.