My girlfriend wants me to stop trying...
I have been seeing this girl for a couple of months; we are officially in a relationship.
However, I have been taking the initiative in everything for the whole relationship; including signs of affection. She would never initiate, but she would return the signs.
I talked to her about her not taking any initiative, and I found out that it takes her longer to start "really caring" about a guy because of a bad breakup six years ago. She says she doesn't really like to "fall in love" right away, because she was really hurt. Instead, she wants to take it slow and figure out if the relationship can be a long one. However, she said that she will start trying; that she will take the initiative more. She also said that I should stop trying because I have already been trying a lot.
Okay. So that was a week ago, she has been trying, I kind of pulled back, but still try.
Note: when I say "try" I mean showing signs of affection, touching, intimate things, etc.
Anyway, I tell her that I feel a bit weird "not trying" since she is important to me and I want to express how I feel.
She basically says "you know what I asked, what you do is your business."
She has been in a foul mood and she said she doesn't want to talk about it now; when she feels better she will, but this has really been gnawing at me.
I want to try, show her signs of affection, be a good boyfriend, but she is telling me not to do these things... I don't know what I am supposed to do.
She has told you to back off.
Then do that.
I don't think this gal is ready for a relationship OR she is just not that into you.
In any case, I'd move on if I were you. Her actions and her standoffish standards just don't seem normal.
That is exactly what you are supposed to do, nothing. She has already told you to stop trying as you have already been trying a lot yet you are saying you still want to show your affection towards her despite her telling you to stop trying. Are you not listening to her? She has also said it takes her time to start caring for someone as she has already been hurt before. She does not want to rush into something.
Back off her. If she is into you then she will come to you herself. You are coming across as very needy and clingy. That is enough for any person to run the opposite direction.