Torn in what to do in my relationship
Hi I am a 22 male ,
I have been with my partner for 2 years and as of recent I have had feelings that I am not 100% happy and the relationship is dying .
Now she is a lovely girl , she loves me with all her heart , she has a fantastic job and a great family , she is one of the nicest people you could meet and all my friends and family love her. Now I still love her I just don't feel the relationship can go on .
We don't have much in common and although she said she will wait she wants children and I don't/or want to wait 15 years.
Further on to this I have meet another girl who is also very nice , she has similar interests to me , and we seem to have a blossoming start to a future relationship , but she doesn't have as good a job and her family are less traditional and she doesn't speak with her mother. This latter things don't bother me at all but my family will probably be more judgemental
Now I have spoke to my partner about my problems in our relationship slightly but she was left distraught and heartbroken and I ended up trying to work things out and I am afraid to talk about it again in case she does anything crazy again.
The other girl knows I have a girlfriend and knows we are having problems but still speaks to me daily and would like to move to the next step if things were not to work out with my partner .
I am losing my mind , I'm not a bad person and I am probably just trying to keep everyone happy which will end up hurting everyone in the end, I know this is only a decision I can decide but I would love some good advice to help me as this is been going on for while now and I'm struggling .
Please help ....
One thing you must make sure to not do is leave your partner FOR this other woman because if you do and things don't work then you will live in regret.
So, firstly, ask yourself, are you putting faults in your current relationship due to this new woman? But when asking yourself this you really DO need to think about it. This may mean you having to go back in time by two years. Look into the 'real' reasons as to why you are torn between the two women. I understand you said 'recently' you have felt you both have nothing in common but seriously? Did it take you two years to figure that out?
Once you have REALLY thought about it, the conclusion you need to come to is that you are genuinly not happy with your current partner and NO 'outside influences' ie the other woman had any part to play in it when you did reach your decision.
I think once you have answered your own question then you will know which path to take. Outside influence ie other woman contributed to you being unhappy with your gf= No brainer. Work on your current relationship and let the other woman go. No outside influence ie other woman had no part to play in you having doubhts about your current gf= Do still think about it but maybe you do need to question your current relationship and consider this new woman.
K gave you some good advice, and I would add:
If your current GF gets upset when you speak to her about your problems "slightly" then be prepared for all kinds of antics when you break up with her.
Perhaps you should consider counseling - with a male counselor - to figure out how to do this.
In any case, feeling as you do, don't marry this girl. And re: the new girl. Watch her family dynamics. They sound troubling for you.
Most important is that you must "find you" first. Unless you are ture to you and being you first, no relationship you are in or later get involved in is going to work, or be the right one for you. With regards children. This is a key issue. Until you know if you want any or not, there is no point in going forward with a relationship that may "push" you in that direction, just to keep the peace or please the other person. You & possible the other person will regret it later. The best advise is communication with both girls and make it clear you do not want to be committed in any relationship until you are ready and that moving forward is right for you. If they are still interested in you they will hang around (as friends is good). If they do not, then neither was right for you any way. If you need to talk it through with a professional, we are at wise blue owl therapy centre, http://www.wiseblueowl.co.uk