A great confusion whether he loves me or not
its too long but please read it and help me.
my ex and i had a breakup when i moved to a different city. after some months i went away from my home to live in a hostel in class 11th to prepare for medial entrance exam. in hostel i missed him a lot i told him to patch up but he refused. one day he made me to talk on phone to one of his close friend JOHN of whom he used to praise a lot. then JOHN and i became good friends, we also exchanged our phone numbers. at that time JOHN had just passed his 12th from a military school. JOHN was a kind of boy who dont talk to much girls.
JOHN used to call me on alternate days and we used to have 1-2 hours talk at every night. i was not having any problem in talking to him because he was not vulgar and moreover i was very sad with my breakup also so talking to a caring friend made me feel a little bit happy.
slowly slowly JOHN started liking me, his way of talking changed a lot, it became more caring and affectionate. i noticed that he is the kind of boy of whom i dreams in my life. and i also started liking him. one day we both confessed that we love each other.
but i dont know what just happened to him next day that he said that he cant be my bf. he said that he will remain in contact with me but cant be my bf. i thought that there must be some reason behind this so i cooperated with him. but after that day he used to talk to me for just five minutes.
after one month he said that he is joining a new college so he dont want to talk to me. i requested him not to go away but he didnt listened to me. after he left away i was in a lot of pain. in the classroom i was having the feeling of restlessness so i moved to M.I. room to have some medicine, i was unable to have my lunch, i was having a great headache, my skull was burning in pain, i was unable to live alone in my room neither i was able to sit in crowd, i was not feeling sleepy. then i called one of JOHN's friend to tell JOHN everything about my pain but his friend did nothing instead he started vulgar talk with me. then i ask my best friend to ask JOHN on fb the reason of leaving me. then he told my friend that he want to study and want to become something in his life, he also told my friend not to tell the reason to me. then i called JOHN he said that he dont want to have any call from me.
after some days he himself called me, i felt really good. but nothing went like before. he still used to have time limits while talking, i told him everything about his friend's vulgar talks, then he started to hate his friend for doing that. but i was not getting that why he is not talking for longer minutes with me. he says that he dont love me but he always behaves like a lover. he used to get jealous when i talk to my crushers. once i deactivated my fb account to find out whether he comes online for me or not and i found that when i deactivated the account he also didt used fb. because of all this confusion i used to frustrate a lot. then i told him that i dont want to talk to you. after that i got a friend request from an account, i came to know that it is fake and then i recognized that it is JOHN. after seeing all this i again thought that he loves me and then i called him but then also he said that he dont love me. he used to hurt me a lot by doing this. i used to scold him a lot for troubling me but he never says anything to me, he just ask me to scold him more. i thought that he is doing all this because my ex must have told him to do all this . then i called my ex to clear whether he had sent JOHN to take revenge but my ex said that JOHN stopped talking to me because he dont want to destroy his friendship with him(my ex) then i was in great anger and i called JOHN to tell the truth he said that my ex was lying , he asked me to keep my ex on conference and then he will prove that he is lying by talking to my ex in front of me . but i didnt did that because i thought my ex would lie on conference that he did not said all this to me.
after 1 month i told my best friend to pass JOHN a message to not to call me ever again
after ending all this i focused on my studies because my 12th exams were about to come and i ruined my 2 years in hostel by focusing on love and did no studies. but fortunately i got sufficient marks in my exam. but after getting the last message from my best friend JOHN made a fake call to me. i again caught him because i recognized his voice but still he was acting like a stranger. after my exams were over i called him again he was behaving very nicely but after that day i never called him again neither allowed him to call me.
then my medical exams results came and i was not selected in any of the college.
now i am at home have taken a drop and is about to go to the hostel again to prepare again. i called him yesterday after 3 months, he said sorry for every thing (i think that he missed me), he said that if i will not believe in his sorry then he would cry in front of me. he said that he cant be in relationship with any girl and will not marry anyone , he said that he feels very odd in being with a girl. then i told him that now i also hate love because no one can be happy in it then he said that "its not true" he said that his uncle and aunt also had love marriage and they are happy.
he also told me that he got first position in his college , this means that he was really concentrating on his studies.
i dont know what he feels. he is really confusing. he says that he dont love me but act like that he love me and will be with me in future. and i also have to concentrate on my studies to have a good future but all this confusion troubles me a lot.
I think you really do need to stop wasting your time on these boys and concentrate on your education otherwise you will be retaking another few years while everyone else moves forward, passes their exams with flying colors and move on into the working world.
If this scenario does not teach you that education comes first then boyfriends, I guess nothing will. Good luck.