My boyfriend wants me to sign a contract
Hi all. Apologies in advance for the long post but I wanted to get some perspective on the situation that I am currently facing.
I have been with my bf for 5 years and we have been living together for the last 18 months in rented accommodation. My name only was on the tenancy agreement, and as he said he couldnt afford to pay half the rent, we agreed that I would pay 2/3 and he 1/3 and split the bills. Towards the end of the 18 months, he stopped paying his share of the rent and bills as he said he couldn't afford it any more (despite having a job) and we decided to move out.
He already has a house where he has a mortgage but was renting the house to a family and making a small profit from their rent on top of covering the mortgage payments. He suggested that we move into his property once the tenants had moved out and that we should split the mortgage payments and utilities 50/50. I agreed to this as he convinced me that its better to pay him than some1 elses mortgage, which made sense to me at the time, plus I would be paying way less than I was before.
Several weeks before the move out day, he mentioned to me that I could sign a tenancy agreement/contract with him as the landlord so that I wouldn't have to worry about him kicking me out and that it would make me feel secure about living in his house, and that it would be to protect myself. I initially said it sounded like a good idea and maybe we should get a contract in place, and thought no more of it.
However, on the actual moving date, while half of my things were already moved he mentioned the contract again and said I should sign it. I told him I didnt want to as I trusted him not to throw me out if we did have an argument (after 5 years) so what is the point? This is when he flew into a rage and started shouting that I needed to sign a tenancy agreement or I should move somewhere else instead, and that we needed to have this contract signed to protect both of us. His reasoning was that if we were to have an argument then we could refer to the contract (?!?!?!!). I refused to sign anything and so he told me I could collect the things I had already moved and live somewhere else. Eventually, we talked and I ended up moving the rest of my things over to his house as I had nowhere else to go at such short notice.
I feel really upset and disappointed with the way he has acted over this whole situation. Firstly, I am not a user, I pay my way and often if we go out we'll split the bill or I'll pay for everything, I've even paid for us to go on holiday together. Ive supported him through his education/work life in terms of helping him complete assignments and with interviews and with generally motivating him. Despite this i often hear that i never support him or do anything to help him. Ive even agreed to pay him rent on top of half of the bills even though my name is not on his mortgage nor on his house deeds, but for him to argue with me and try to get me to sign a tenancy contract has hurt me the most. I feel as though he sees me as a $ sign and wants to financially gain from me living with him.
I do love him but I dont know what to do & am too embarrassed to talk to family/friends, please help?
This is a tough call.
He seems to have his business hat on, though. He wants to be sure that he always has control over who is living in the house. IF you two separated, that contract could assure that he could evict you. He is protecting his investment.
You can point out that you did not require him to sign a sub-lease at the previous rental. And even when he stopped making ANY payment, you did not evict him.
Before you signed it, I would have someone (a lawyer or friend) take a look at that contract. Usually evictions are for when the rent is not paid, or when the renter is doing an unhealthy or illegal activity.
If you have been together for 5 years(?), then why does your BF expect you to sign a tenancy agreement? You need to think about the fact that you are helping him with an investment which by the sound of it will be all his in the end whether you stay together or not in the future.
In my opinion, if this man loved and respected you after 5 years, he would be taking steps to ensure that you would also benefit or at least have a share from helping him pay his mortgage. In fact, if he was any sort of a man, he would allow you live with him and support you fully which would be the first step to marrying you after 5 years together!!
And if you were to have an argument then you could refer to the contract tells us all that, yes indeed, you are just an end to the means as far as he's concerned. And the fact that he asked you to leave and live somewhere after you refused to sign, also speaks volumes of this man's character...and just what he really thinks of you even after you basically paid for the 18 months you lived together.
Ask yourself why you DO love him because it sure isn't because he's a caring and selfless individual who goes out of his way to ensure his woman of 5 years is comfortable, content and happy.
Tenancy contract?..if I were you I'd tell him what to use it for and quickly!
This "contract" protects her, too. He can't
raise the rent during the term, she is not responsible for repairs, upkeep, utilities, etc. He would have to go thru the court system to evict her. She is basically renting a room.
On the love/emotional side - the above post was right. He is not preparing for the future with her and seems not to want to take care of her.
Like I said, "tough call"