Is he cheating?
I am 46 y/o and my boyfriend is 50 y/o, we live an hour apart only get to see each a couple times a month. I have had the feeling that since he has so much alone time that there is someone else he is seeing as well. He swears he isn't that only goes to his guy
friends house and hangs out in the "mancave". BUT early this year Match.com suddenly starts sending me "matches" from old profile that I had in 2010 and had forgotten about, well he was one of the matches. We broke up for 2 months right after that, we got back together because he came to my house and with tears in his eyes (something I have never seen in the 3.5 years we have been together) he told me how much he loved me and wanted me in his life in some way even if it wasn't as his girlfriend. I thought this is it we finally have a brake through in our relationship. Things were great then we went away for 2 days and I haven't seen him since then for going on a month now. He told me he was sick last weekend so I drove to his house on Sunday to see him and he wasn't home and the house was cleaner than I have ever seen it. On the night stand in the bedroom there was a giftbag of massaging lotions and tube of KY laying next to it. I left him a couple of really mean and very frank voicemails since he wasn't answering either my call or my text. Monday he tells me he was helping a friend with car repairs, I felt terrible for the things I had said only to find out that he hadn't even listened to the voicemails until Tues. Lets say he is now giving me the silent treatment. On a hunch I checked Match.com to see if his profile was still there and it says he has been active within the last two weeks. How accurate do you think these dates are??? I have printed the page and date is on the page to show when I printed it and show him if I see him again. I flat out asked if he was seeing someone else and he "I don't wait would make you think that!". Well his profile on a dating site for one thing. the house being so clean and the picture of the an old girlfriend that he kept on the mantle is gone and the massaging lotion giftbag for a few other things. I love and would like to figure out how to make our lives great for both of us but just when things are going good something like this happens.
Am I just looking for problems where there are none or am I on the right in suspicion area??
An hour apart and only get to see each other a couple time per month?
That does not seem good enough to have a solid relationship.
Where are you going on this with him? Why can't you move in or at least get closer to each other?
Don't put much credence into Match.com - those profiles stay there forever. You need to look at his REAL behavior to you and it does not show that he does everything possible to spend time with you.
This is a long distance relationship that apparently he finds OK as is.
To be frank, if the man wanted to be with you, regardless of distance, he would make every effort to do just that. His words of wanting you in his life in some way should tell you that he views your relationship differently to how you see it.
If you had the feeling that there was someone else then you should be listening to your instinct because your 'gut' was talking to you.
Take two steps back from the whole situation and ask yourself why you have chosen him to try and figure out a way to make your lives great for both of you.
Have a look at your reactions to his actions to give you some insight.