Hi. So, I've been dating a girl I met online for a little over a year now. We used to talk late into the night every night last summer. We're both in university. During the semester, I didn't hear from her much, and she didn't respond often to my skype messages. I've heard from her family, though, that she would skip classes and many other things to be around for when I got back from class and waited for me often. She never told me about it, but I recently discovered she failed the school year waiting on me.
During the school year, it was very difficult to talk to her. Now that I'm back home, I figured it would be easier to talk to her and get on like we used to last tear. However, it feels like she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Where last year, she'd seemingly perk up and chat with me all day whenever I showed up, now she gets silent.
I'm very much interested in this girl and I believe I'm in love with her. She's expressed that I'm nothing like the guy I was when she met me a year ago any more and that it's like I forget she exists. I don't want this relationship to just end because of it.
My usual day, since I'm recovering from surgery right now and can't get back into town to continue my job hunt, is get up and wait for her to come around. I try to talk to her - teamspeak and skype are what we usually use - but whether it's just I don't know how to talk to her or she's lost interest in me, I have a hard time carrying on a conversation with her any more.
Recently, she lost someone very close to her. I've tried to be around for her to comfort her and care for her, but I'm still outside the box and have a hard time communicating with her at all. She's expressed that she feels like I'm the only one that isn't around for her right now. I want to be there for her, though. I care about her. How can I be here for her if she doesn't seem willing to talk with me now?
We'd talk about interests, family, just about everything under the sun last summer. Is there anything I can do to try and rekindle the relationship? How should I proceed? Should I wait on that for a while while I try to reopen communication with her and comfort her with the recent loss of her family member and focus on the rest later? How can I try to reopen an ease of talking with her?
A piece of relevant information is that she told me herself about a month ago about school and various other problems that went on during the school year when she felt like I was ignoring her. She's expressed that she has nothing more to give and she's pretty much done with it. I'm not one to give up - I do believe I love this girl and I want to spend my life with her. I'm here to be her strength and here to give even if she has nothing left to give. If the distance and quiet broke this girl, I want to give my all to bring her back to her best.
Frankly, it doesn't matter how hard you try, if she's lost interest, then she's lost interest. If she's says she's pretty much done with it, then you are really wasting your time trying to rekindle something that isn't there.
You're correct when you state "how can I be there for her when she doesn't seem willing to talk with me now?" How can you? you can't, because it's become monologue instead of dialogue and conversation.
If your GF failed the school year because she was waiting for you after skipping classes then maybe she has changed her 'online lifestyle' to succeed at uni.
Maybe you should take tw0 steps back from it all and look at it from a different angle because this girl has to have the NEED to talk to you...if she hasn't, then you can't make her do it. You can't be her strength when she doesn't want it.
Manalone, thanks for the reply, hard as it is.
She expressed the other night that she feels like I'm not around for her, and it felt like she wishes I was and that I'd do things with her. Am I simply being hopeful, or is there a way I can go around being the man she's waiting for to come back to her?
Texas, I guess the problem is that maybe you aren't around enough for her. If she has said this to you, face to face, rather than using social media, then she's pretty serious about it because for her to say that and mean it, she would have owed it to you to say it face to face..and I don't mean skype face to face.
If she hasn't, then maybe you need take stock of it all and see just what really makes her tick..find out what she truly wants and needs from a relationship. Find out where you went wrong (if you did) or has she really just lost interest?
One thing's for sure, you're a better man if you can cop it on the chin and move on rather than hang around trying to give your all to nothing and make things more miserable than they are. You may want to spend your life with her but you need to ensure that she is on the same level as well. If you feel that she is, then you know what to do.
Texas - you really need to look at this girl's behavior. She exhibits behavior that is troublesome. She flunked out of school because of YOU? I doubt it.
She seems indecisive and moody and needy - yet pushes you away. Now with this death of a close relative, she sinks deeper into making your responsible for her happiness.
Be careful. You are in for a roller coaster ride if you try to stay with her.