Should I tell him?
Two months ago my boyfriend broke up with me a week before our one year anniversary. He said it was due the stress of a long distance relationship. He lived three hours away from me. We were sexually active, but I knew it was because we were in love.
Since the breakup I have thought about him every moment of every day and miss him all the time. I haven't slept well since the breakup and constantly find myself crying for no particular reason except that I miss him. My friends say it'll pass but I've never been this heartbroken before, and he wasn't my first serious relationship.
I want to tell him I still love him but I'm afraid he will just shoot me down or say that I have to move on. I honestly know I'm in love with him and I just don't know what to do since we haven't talked since the breakup. Should I tell him or just leave it like my friends say?
Tell him how you feel. He may shoot you down and may say he has moved on but at least you know you walked away telling him how you felt. He may even tell you he missed you too.
You love this man. Those feelings don't develop for everyone so please don't listen to your friends and tell him how you feel!!! Ring him.
It all depends on context. It's true that long distance relationships are sometimes too hard on one or both people.
As a person who needs touch and physical presence in a relationship I can understand it being too hard to be long distance. Especially after a certain age or when you want to settle down.
So for example, if the real problem really was the long distance, I'm assuming you both talked it over to see if there is some way you could have solved that. But sometimes the solution doesn't have to be immediate, if the person has reassurance that might be all they need.
So say you talked it over and for whatever reason there is no possible way to make the distance go away (can't live together, at your place, his place, or in your own place together somewhere.)
The problem I would have, if I were him, if distance is the only real issue, is the problem of feeling uncertain or unassured.
If for example he or you, could solve the distance problem in two or three months, that might make him change his mind if what he needs is the certainty of the relationhip.
Ex: For certain, within three months I will save enough for us to live together. Or, 'We will look for a place together by 'x' date, for sure'. Etc.
With a certainty that the relationship will become normal and regular, that might ease his mind and heart. You would both have to make sure whatever solution you guys come up with is honest and can work. Giving heed to both each others advice and not just one person's.
If you are way past this point and for some reason there is no certainty you could be together in a reasonable time, and you already came to the conclusion it would be long distance for so long that he could not handle it, then I'm afraid moving on may be the only option.
There is nothing wrong with telling him your feelings, and it is possible he is avoiding you because he himself doesn't want to feel the hurt of not being able to be with you, but still having to interact with you for now while the break up is fresh.
It is true you could move on with time, and that he too will be okay. Sometimes your heart forces you to say something no matter what advice you get, so if you do talk to him soon instead of waiting a bit, try not only to share your feelings but to understand his feelings and why long distance is too hard on him.
In talking about it, sometimes a solution is made apparent. Worse come to worse surround yourself with friends and loved ones and recieve as much love as you can, have good interactions with people who treat you well, etc. this kind of thing helps you ease a broken heart. And it may also help to remember that everyone in the world can be fallen in love with and that God made everyone worthy of love.
So even though it is sad to lose a person it is not the end of hope. But I will pray for you that whatever is best works out for you <3
If you feel THIS strong about this guy, then go to him. Move near or in with him.
The issue is: does he feel the same way? He broke up with you, not the other way around - for a reason that has resolutions.
Distance should not keep people apart, not in this day and age.
Join him - but first you must be VERY sure that he feels as strongly as you do.