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I moved to a new state in February and met this guy the same day I moved. We hit it off instantly and began texting and calling each other off and on all day every day. We found that we had so much in common that it was like we were twins. We fell hard and fast. Well he had been separated from his wife since October of the previous year. She had kicked him and his 12 year old daughter out. We'll she figured out we were talking and then she decided she wanted him back so she started making a stink. He chose to quit talking to me until he resolved things with her. Well a month or so went by and he got back in contact with me. He still hasn't divorced her but decided he missed me too much to not have me in his life. Well things started back where we left off. We were head over heels and we spent every moment we could together for the next few months. He was trying to get money together to get his divorce and we were talking about getting a place together. Me him and his daughter. I even got him a job at my place of employment. Well things were going great and as planned then all of a sudden his wife shows up again wanting to reconcile. Well he started talking to her and for about 3 weeks our relationship started getting more distant. Meanwhile I go to the dr only to find out I'm 11 weeks pregnant. I had planned a dinner date with him on a Friday to tell him. Well on the Wednesday before this he sends me a text telling me he has decided he wants to try to work things out with his wife. I meet up with him that day after work to talk about it and I go ahead and tell him about the pregnancy. He freaks out of course and leaves. I haven't heard from him since and that has been a week ago today. Do I get in contact with him or do I just wait it out and see if he gets in touch with me or what? I also want to know if I should contact his parents to see if they want to be in the baby's life if he doesn't? I am so lost and have no idea what to do now. I also don't know if he is going to tell the wife or just try to hide it and that's why he is avoiding me. What do I do????

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Horrible problem, first things first is never involve yourself with someone who is married. Having said that, for your sake so that you remember and can live without more suffering, I don't condemn or judge you because we ALL make crazy mistakes and I'm sorry you're in this situation. There is no really easy answer, I'd say pray to God and ask Him to help you out of this one and also seek loved ones to help support you as much as possible. What you need right now is love and support around you. That's my answer to most of your questions as you'll see below. All I can do is share opinions and someone hopefully much wiser and better than me who has been in a similar situation can give you way better advice. "Do I get in contact with him or do I just wait it out and see if he gets in touch with me or what?" At the very least you need to have some kind of certainty about what he is or isn't going to do with your mutual child. This question is way out of my depth so hopefully someone older and wiser will help you. My only thought is that you need to have that assurance. To know if he'll be involved, if so how much, and so on. Will you need financial help, etc. Try to rely on as many people as love you as you can. If you have a great parent, or family member who will care for you and make sure you're okay and give you a sense of security etc. reach out. Don't isolate yourself this could be too much for one person to handle. "I also want to know if I should contact his parents to see if they want to be in the baby's life if he doesn't?" I can't see any harm in that, but understand if you're afraid to contact them, of them judging you or etc. Again try to elicit the help of support. Someone who will be there for you, non judgemental, care about you and help you by strength in numbers. And if you're inclined, praying to God helps a lot too. "I am so lost and have no idea what to do now. I also don't know if he is going to tell the wife or just try to hide it and that's why he is avoiding me. What do I do????" I'm so sorry you are in this situation. The uncertainty is very difficult to deal with, but it is very unlikely he will be able to hide it or etc. and if he does I believe it will eventually come back to him. Don't let this just be your problem. The only and best advice I have the wisdom to give you is try your hardest to find someone else in your life who really loves you and is close to you, family if possible, and get love, support, and counsel from as many of those people as possible. If you don't have that kind of support, prayer is always a resort especially if you acknowledge to God that you change your mind that doing what you did was not right. He is faithful. <3 God Bless, and I will pray for you. Additional info: Divided loyalties do not make families but break them. He can't be loyal to you, and to his wife at the same time, because you are both trying to fill the same position in his life.

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It' too bad that you found yourself pregnant when you were in such a tumultuous relationship. He never really was all yours, you see . . . No matter, you must take care of yourself now. He is not going to be around, so you must gather your own support system and build your own life, now. Don't worry about his parents. I have a feeling that they will contact you if they want to see this child. Don't count on it.

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He doesn't sound like someone you need in your life. You can tell his parents about the baby since it's their grandchild. Then ditch him.

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