Relationship talks not going right.... need your opinions
PLANETMARS - Aug 25 2014 at 01:42
My husband and I are having some disagreements and arguments. After the last argument the things went a little sour for few days. I wanted to patch things up and started the "talk". I wanted to listen to him and give him my perspective. I opened by saying "If we cannot fix it may be we should split". He didn't like that and told me that I didn't seem like interested in patching things up. I want to put it out to you guys and ask what you think. Give me your honest opinion what would go through your mind if your SO starts a patch up talk with this.
I always believed there was always room for more negotiation, my husband however has lost any interest in talking things through with any one.
In the last 14 years, the first time he decided that no one had any say in his use of seniority but him, It made his father, his local union, A county commissioner, and myself angry when he would not allow the son of the county commissioner to take a job, I don't like conflict, but my husband refused to back away, told both myself and his father we could drop dead. It was the situation we tried to avoid for 16 years, the result was four men transported to a critical care, and my husband taking the job.
Recently I was going to go to a political funding dinner, with a friend of his fathers, My husband decided that after a discovery that I had several affairs over the decades, I had refused sex as a future reward trying just to keep him from taking his seniority rights over other peoples needs. To keep him from telling those that are more important in society he did not have to do what they wanted,
He said there was a time that was long past for action, I promised to meet any where he wished to please let us talk things through and maybe we could come to a solution that would please everyone, I offered to call his mother and father to also meet after the event, to have mediators, My husband said his father also had nothing to say. I did not go to the event, my husband defended himself with terrible results, He did not let me say when he was going to be rewarded. He said I OWED a 31 year note and he was taking the first installment, his idea of patching things up is the street is on the other side of that door, pack your bags , place your feet upon it and pick a direction.
Over the last year is Idea of negotiation is NO. You have no say itn this.
Assume if you hadn't said this but someone else had, you too might have felt "this significant other is on the verge of giving up and is just making a last attempt without a hope". The sentence actually gives out that meaning.
Having said that, when in anger and emotionally high situations we all tend to make sentences which we do not mean that way.
Suggest if talking is leading to further problems, try email to start with and then sit down for an actual discussion.