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Relationship anxiety

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I've been dating this amazing boyfriend for about 6 months. He's sweet, intelligent, handsome, we get along very well and always have fun, and he really understands me. For the first two to three months everything was great. I thought i had found the one. But then, around 3 months in, I started to get all this anxiety. We went on a date, and for some reason I felt very cold and uninterested in him. Maybe it was just a bad day for me, I don't know, but I was able to get past it and all our future dates were much better. But the anxiety was still there. Is he really the one? Am I still attracted to him? Am I forcing this? We've had good times since then, but the anxiety is still there. It's caused problems in our relationship. I broke up with him because i was convinced he wasn't the one for me, but after sobbing for hours thinking of my life without him and how wonderful he was, we got back together in just a couple hours. I can't bear to think of him not in my life, and whenever I do all I can think of are his good qualities. But, then the anxiety comes back, and I start questioning our relationship, and I get so upset because deep down I care about him so much. He doesn't really have any serious flaws either, Sometimes he seems too available or too affectionate, but I don't know why I worry about that. I've had problems with anxiety in the past, so it's nothing new. I sometimes worry about silly things for days or months. This is also the first serious, genuine relationship I've been in, although I have been in other, not so genuine or good relationships. What should I do?

Relationship anxiety

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I am having this issue as well! I do this to myself also! I push and pull and I am trying to prevent that! You have to always make sure YOU come first, and that all your needs of your own are met by you! What triggered the anxiety? HIM or YOU?! It's mostly all me, it's easy to self-inflict anxiety. I am afraid of losing my independence, yet I long for the marriage/children life! It's good to clear your head with positive mantras, exercise, yoga and journaling. Hopefully, we can figure this out together and be in a happy, long lasting relationship!

Relationship anxiety

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It's funny because I just commented on your post just now! I guess my anxiety's mostly self-inflicted, I'll start nitpicking everything about him, but when I'm in a better mood the things I'm critical about I love about him. It doesn't make sense! Like sometimes he's very affectionate and I can't stand it, but other times I love it! It's so confusing. And I'll get super anxious if I don't hear from him for a while, worried that he's going to leave me. I just feel like it's a never ending roller coaster of worrying. I wish I could just be happy with him, there's nothing wrong with him. I hopefully will see a therapist soon, I'm on a waiting list to see one. I appreciate your advice, hopefully it will get better for us! Let me know how it goes

Relationship anxiety

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You truly have to work on yourself, too. We all worry we will be left with devastation. It's torture. I do the same, I need to be left alone and I feel I can get smothered and some days I miss him so much and cannot get enough! Learning to love yourself that they love and learning to find your happy median can be hard! Therapy and possibly a mild anti-anxiety med may help put in perspective!

Relationship anxiety

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Thanks for your advice, it's good to know someone else is dealing with this too! In my last long term relationship, a few years ago, the guy i was with was never very dependable, and it felt like a chase all the time to keep dating him. And he also never wanted to call me his boyfriend. Now I'm with a guy who's proud to have me and call me his boyfriend, and is also very attentive. So I guess that partly contributes to the problem, I'm just not used to a dependable relationship, and I try to sabotage it by nitpicking everything. It's hard, and I never realized I had this problem before, so i'm dealing with it day by day.

Relationship anxiety

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Making a commitment to someone IS scarey, so don't think you are alone in this. It can happen to anyone. Try to relax and just enjoy each day. No need to worry about the future or the past, just concentrate on what you are doing today. You will find out that you really are OK. You mention that you are an anxious person. Please keep your appt. with the counselor. No need to feel this way all your life. Good luck!

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