I've been in a relationship with a my current partner for 2 years now. When we first started dating i was very open and i asked him him to be too. I asked him to be honest if i asked a question to just answer irregardless of my feelings since if i took the time to ask than i had already deemed i could handle the answer. One of the questions was: WHAT was most attractive physically in a woman to him? HE said good looking was somewhat but for the most part hair and height. WELL THAT WAS AS DISHONEST AS THE SKY IS BLUE. While helping him with something on a computer a file opened up and naked women appeared. Porn is OK it doesn't bother me but his reaction did because he slapped that screen down and clammed up so fast i was left in shocked. The seed of doubt had been planted. I tried to brush it off and even tried to find out why he was so panicked but he evaded just said he was embarassed. Finally I'd had enough I said I want to see the stuff. PICTURES UPON PICTURES OF WOMEN WITH HUGE BREASTS FILLED THE SCREEN 99% OF IT . I wear 34B so you can only imagine how I felt. What bothers me about this is that if he has bothered to comb the web and save all of these pictures and videos obviously it was something he seriously was attracted to. When i thought of when he looked at my chest now all I think it must be a sad joke to be dating me so why the hell do it. HE finally admitted it was a huge turn on for him i asked if he stared at women while i was out he said he would as much as he could. I asked why stay with me if i didn't have something that was obviously so important to him he said HE loved me and he was attracted to me and i did turn him on even though i didn't have large breasts. Now I'm at a crossroads should i stay with him or should i just call it quits regardless of how i feel about him. How do I deal with the knowledge that the last 2 years together he has been secretly feeding his addiction for women with large breast by saving 1,000s of web things and ogling them whenever possible even while spending time with me. He's a really wonderful man outside of that he even deleted everything (which the sheer quantity made me cry)and he said that i was more important and would work on his addiction. But I just don't know trust is very valuable this has seriously made a hole in ours.
Men any insight on his behalf from a male point of view is appreciated.
Ladies if you've lived thru anything similar your experience and wisdom is much needed.
In a similar way to how you might look at 4 inch stiletto heels on shopping sites and like to imagine wearing them, yet wouldn't in reality ever want to own a pair (nor have to try to negotiate a pavement in them), there's usually a very distinctive dividing line in men's heads between mere fantasy/titillation fodder (visual stimulus only) and real life/love/their walking, talking, living, breathing, LOVING, romantic relationship partner.
There are women you ogle but wouldn't want to interact with and get to know and then there are women you want to actually spend your life with. Clearly, you're the latter, under which main criteria the ideal apparently is his idea of nice hair and the right height.
This sort of thing is upsetting for what it can lead you to suspect it suggests if you don't understand it, granted, so I can sympathise, as well as can understand why past negative female reactions could be behind his embarrassment and knee-jerk panicking.
But What struck *me* more, however, was  how ready and willing he was to reassure you in no uncertain terms about how much he loves, fancies and appreciates you (just the way you are);  how in order to do so he *didn't* take the easy road/cop out of his promise to always answer direct questions honestly, hence dared to do the right thing in coming clean and potentially facing yet more flak about how he (like 99.99999% of men) instinctively and reflexively takes sneaky peeks at other women in public; and  - the fact that deleted everything in his endeavour to show contrition and put things right again.
STRAIGHTFORWARD, never mind 'wonderful man otherwise', that's what you call a *DIAMOND*...a man who cares immensely about your feelings and welfare!
A mere-human diamond, though (aww, LOL).
There are pros and cons whether you have big boobs (tend too easily to go southhwards) or small (no cleavage to show off), but what is generally most important to men is the nipple area and how it responds (touch a 2D nipple and it doesn't do or lead to a thing) and the fact it's *YOURS*.
Ever slobbered over a picture of a celeb like George Clooney or Justin Timberlake or whomever? Does that mean you wish your partner looked/acted just like them or *was* them? Doesn't, does it.
Hope that helps.
I have a friend whose husband is similar to your partner's obsession to big boobs. He gets turned on; she gets the benefit. Those girls are not going to come out from the screen.
Unless this porn time is excessive and takes away from your time together, then ignore it. He has already said that he loves you.
Besides, he can always pay for a boob job for you, if he wants.
Treat this like he is a child who is always touching his own pee-pee - tell him that he should not do that in front of others (you) and tell him to go into another room if he must.
Wow SoulMate your indepth analysis and insight plus advice is more than i could have asked for thank you so much. Over reacting here seems to be my issue since he did indeed address all of my concerns and questions. Thank you.
SusieQD you are right this light hearted point of view does make me laugh at myself and if they really are that important and if he really does love me than the happy medium would be a boob job.