I feel so down about girls
Hi my name is Gary and I'm 20. I thought it might be a good idea to come onto a forum like this and see if anyone could help me with a problem I've been having for the past 5 years
I feel like all girls have no interest in me at all. Everytime I show interest in a girl they tell me that they only see me as a mate. I get the same excuse from every girl I show feelings for and over the years being rejected has really hurt my confidence to the stage where I'm actually scared to even let a girl know that I like her. I feel that these girls aren't telling me the real reason they don't want to go out with me. I've began to feel that the reasons are because I'm ugly, ginger and becasue I don't do the whole hard man act that most guys in Belfast do
In 5 years I've had 3 girlfriends. My first girlfriend was a friend but she started spending more time with another guy and in the end we broke up because of that after just 2 months. My second girlfriend was a girl I'd gotten to know a bit but in the end she to went with another guy behind my back after 2 months and my third girlfriend was a girl I was set up with and who I went out with for 7 months. We broke up because she was getting me in trouble with my family etc. So as you can see I haven't had the best of girlfriends
My lack of luck with girls because of them not being interested in me and then the one who have shown interest either cheating on me or getting me in trouble has had a really bad effect on me. It brings me down and makes me feel depressed
What annoys me as well is that some girls have led me on. They'd say I was a really nice guy etc and that there should be more guy like me. This over time would build up my confidence and then when I tell them I'm interested in them they give me the same excuse every other girl has given me, oh I just see you as a mate. This hurts my confidence alot as well
Really because of all the messing about and getting turned down my confidence with girls is at an all time low. Please can someone give me advice on how I can get girls to like me? I've tried changing alot of things but nothing has worked for me
Please someone help me
B*tches aint sh*t but h0s and tricks. Its a song on the music album "the chronic" by dr dre. have a listen
hi. Well i can understand how ur confidence is knocked. Are you an out going person or do you shy away in a crowd? My guess is ur the shy one. U need to believe in urself. When you chat to a girl make her feel sexy yet your not trying to get her into bed. if you are chatting girls up in your area they may know u too well and see you as a mate. So try talking to people that u normally wouldn't. also if you have a really close friend confide in him or a family member. if your close to a brothe or sister!
Hi Nicelife, I'd say I shy away in the crowd I go out with but occasionally show a bit of confidence when I'm out with a group at a club. See I don't really know what to talk to a girl about if I don't know her. The girls only seeing me as a mate thing also applies to when I go out clubbing. I've had girls say, I could be mates with you but that's it. I know I need to be more confident but when I do make that step to be more confident I always seem to get knocked right back down when I get rejected. My mate has tried helping me out with my confidence problems but I just seem to take one step forward and get knocked two steps back
I look forward to your reply
first of all when talking to strangers you have to come across genuine. Hey how are you? can I buy you a drink? so are you on hols? Are you having a good night? Etc. These are a few start up lines. If they respond then you can go with the conversation i.e if they said they were on hols is this her first time here? you need to tap into the energy of them. If she is not very talkitive or attentive then let it go and move on. no point in beating a dead horse. and another point how do people you just meet turn and say well we could only be mates? Do you come on too strong? are you awkward? again this is down to building up your convidence there are classes around the country that do help with peoples convidence. I hope this has helped
Have you ever tried speed dating? With speed dating, everyone is there to meet other people - just like you. You get enough time with each person to decide whether or not you would like to see them again, and you only get put in contact with the people you want to meet who also want to meet you again.
Even if you don't find someone you like on your first run, at least you'll be working on your conversation, and building up confidence by speaking with complete strangers (preparing you for when you think the time is right to ask someone else).
hello gary, i have a very good friend who has similiar problems with girls. he has told me before and many other girls that he has feelings for me/them. and over the years he just keeps getting the same anwers, girls only see him as a mate. like you this gets him down. i am forever trying to tell him where he is going wrong and he doesnt listen to me. as soon as the next girl comes along, he tells them he likes them. in my opinion there is a default in human nature and that is that people are attracted to people who they think may not be attracted to them back. girls like a mystery. if a person is an open book and tells you straight out that they have feelings for you then all the wondering, hoping, second guessing, nervous and exciting feelings are gone. there is no mystery left. people want what they cant have. if u were to appear unattainable, it is my opinion that you would have more sucess. i know this may sound like unpleasant mind games but unfortunatly i believe that this is how us girls work at times, even though it is probably at a sub-conscious level. i think the reson that so many girls are telling you that you are a realy nice guy/good person/good mate is that girls like to believe they want a nice boy who is outstraight and plays no minds games but i dont think its what they really want. as i was saying, my friend tells a lot of girls that he has feelings for them, but becuase he has told this to alot of people he comes across as really desperate and ungenuine. in my opinion it is better to show a girl some attention but do not reveal your feelings, let her feel she is winning your attention, do not hand it out on a plate. i hope this helps you in some way. if u want i can tell u the exact advice i give my mate, as in wgat to say/what way to act that i think will work best.
Well babes you cant be all that bad you have had three girl friend, i had never had a proper relationship till i was twenty, everything takes time and yo just have to be patient. you will soon meet the girl of your dreams and she will respect you for how you are xx
I think Evyloveslondon is bang on the money. I'm gonna give you the best piece of advice you'll ever receive on this subject: get a book called The Rules of the Game by Neil Strauss. Unfortunately, no matter how many women tell you they just want a nice, sweet guy, it's not true. They want intrigue, mystery, a challenge. Love is a game - a cruel one at times and you have to start learning to play. Get the book.
Jobshadow, I wouldn't call love a game so much as Lust. Lust is very much a game.
You do however want to play the game if you want the best results for Love as well however.
There's various people who help teach how to meet girls/women and they have some incredible stuff. The best method to getting plenty of women is working on your life as a whole however.
Go to some seminars, find one which works for you, which helps you get your life on track, goals in place and a destiny to set for. That is what women are most helplessly attracted to.
Eg. I've been to many and found this kickstarted my life when I was most in need.
Lads dont be so lame I am a girl and I have read that book and I've been come onto by guys who live by it and it doesnt work. Look Gary I dated this guy who has been so rediculously crippled by a lack of confidence he could hardly build up the courage to kiss me while we were seeing each other. You will find someone who will genuinely like you its just a matter of time and dont worry those girls are stupid