I'll start off with a little background. I am 19, male. My girlfriend (same age) and I both attended the same high school however we were best friends at the time. More that I was ready for a relationship and she was not. We both went our separate ways for college, and it was then I finally couldn't take it anymore and told her how I felt. She said she was going to never feel the same way, and we stopped talking for a while. When she came back in town for winter break we hung out like everything was normal, and then one night poor decision making led too us kissing. It ended up not being weird at all and we made out the next couple of night and never really talked about what it meant and then she left again. Almost 2 months of video chatting every day went by before we decided that we were gonna go for it and try a long distance relationship knowing summer was only a few months away. I was now dating my best friend of 4 years, and the girl of my dreams. As the months progressed things got rougher, and after multiple months of sending 10000+ texts a month and video chatting every day we were running out of things to talk about. Finally summer arrived and she came home. Summer went by way too quickly as always, but we managed to do most the things we had talked about doing. And I told her I loved her, and she felt the same way.
So now the problem:
After a love filled passionate summer with the girl I've been in love with for 5 years now, we are trying long distance again. Other than a few trips here and there and major breaks, I will not get to see her. But we love each other enough that we would rather be together a thousand miles apart, than be with anyone else locally.
All I can think about recently now that she's gone again is the future. We spend 3 months out of the year together and the rest waiting till we get to see each other again. But when does it end? There's a possibility that she would take a summer internship near her college and not come home for the summer. Do I try and fight through 5 years of college waiting to finally be able to be with her for us to go separate ways after college with different careers and whatnot? Transfer schools all for her? I love her any I can't imagine not being together.. But am I just delaying the in-inevitable by sticking it out? Has anybody had similar thoughts and made it work? Or has anyone broken it off and been better off not stressing about it? In my situation I wouldn't just be losing the girl I'm head over heels in love with, I'd be losing my best friend too. But at the moment, I cant see anyway of us having that great of a future together.
Just really in need of advice..
if you both love each other enough for marriage then by all means do everything that you need to make you closer to her. but if she doesnt feel that way or so do you, i think you should just take a step back and let things flow its course. And even if you guys go separate ways, as long as she made you look at life in a different, more broader perspective, then all of it wasn't in vain.
RE: Well I'm in my sophomore year of college, and I have no idea what I want in the future. All I know is that we love each other enough to try and make it work as long as we can. But if my future doesn't involve her, is it a waste of time and stress to keep pursuing her? The feeling of missing somebody so much that it makes you sick is awful. But I am happier being "with" her than I have ever been in my life.
This is a tough one. Because you are only 19 I am concerned about you committing to your first love so heavily. A few trips here and there and major breaks may be enough to hold you two together, who knows?
I guess my point is: don't be so extreme in your feelings. This may be just a summer love, or it could be long term. Just don't make yourself SICK about it. You have some serious concentration to do at school and there is a big world out there.
Eyes ahead. If she's meant to be there, she will.