Im in need of some relationship advice/help, I have been with my fiancée for 3 and a half years we have a 18 month child, and things dont feel right shes always on her phone texting or facebooking someone youd never see her without it but when im away on work or away from the house and try getting hold of her 9 times out of 10 i get cant get hold of her its always my phone died i lost my phone im to busy but none of this ever seems to happen when shes texting anybody else, we hardly talk because her relationship with her phone is or seems to be more important she never seems to make proper eye contact when we eventually do talk i try kissing cuddling her cuddling her in bed and it always feels forced from her side like shes trying to get it over and done with as quickly as possible when i ask her about her day and what shes been up to when i get in from work allI get is its ok and nout this may be the case but just seems a little strange nothing ever happens during her day she never seems bothered about my day, our sexlife well what sex life lol we use to have a great one untill the last 2 months and now nothing it feels like shes not intrested anymore i have tried spicing things up by taking her on weekends away spa weekends romantic meals family holidays holidays on our own without the little one and no affection what so ever she dosent even nag anymore about helping with house work (i do do it by the way) shes always asking when ill be home and wanting to know the time ill be back from work she has suddenly started dying her hair wearing makeup buying new clothes i get it women love this sorta thing but it just seems a little odd all of this has started happening all about the same time, just wondered if anyone could with a little advice?
Rodders, I'm sorry to say but your woman's actions are red flags and alarm bells to me. When your partner starts changing her habits which are left field and unusual ; when she's wearing new clothes and makeup and she doesn't seem to be doing these things for you, then you need to step back and have a good, hard look at the situation.
When she comes up with excuses why YOU (her fiancee and father of her child) can't contact her 9 times out 10, then something is wrong.
You need to get her to explain and discuss with you honestly, just what is really happening particularly when all of her odd behavior has happened together.
Yes, I agree with Manalone.
Something does not seem right here. She does not nag you about housework, has put more effort into her appearance, is not being intimate, is distant..All red flag signals.
You have tried talking to her but things have not improved. I guess now you just need a bit more evidence as to what lies behind this change.
This struck me, though: "she dosent even nag anymore about helping with house work (i do do it by the way)".
If you do do it then where would be the need to nag? Error - Does Not Compute. So shall we be honest and admit that you've however recently acquiesced in order to gain back her attention yet it's proving too little too late because your past/prior failure to respond [a] at all or [b] in timely fashion was allowed to persevere whereby the love (her sense that she and her feelings were your priority) got kicked bit by bit out of her until this, now, is the result?
Is someone on "Love-Me"-Book making her feel more like a worthwhile woman or has she simply turned her attentions platonically to life outside of yours and her cave? Some women latch onto other woman and for aspirational reasons start to 'compete' with them in terms of physical appearance and lifestyle. In other words, a self-serving.
If your efforts are too little, too late, then you're going to have to conquer the latter syndrome by pulling out the BIG guns (bouquets). Because it's no good being taken away for romantic weekends if the person doing the taking away has proven systematically for too long that he's an uncaring wotsit/puts you second/third, whereby even with new improvements you can't catch up fast enough in adjusting your perception of him. Shock therapy of the positive variety.
If you have an 18 month child then to all intents and purposes, YOU'RE MARRIED...certainly emotionally and practically if not legally/societally. So why on earth you're still fiancees beats me. Why not reposition that cart and horse? Maybe deeper down THAT'S the big gun that's for too long been withheld, meaning all the small stuff like helping with housework (which you shouldn't technically even be doing if only you work outside the home) is just taking the brunt of the blame? Maybe she simply has too much self-respect to say to you, 'You should have married me already!' and instead is trying to (somewhat justifiably) manipulate you with her feet?
Food for thought? I mean, you must KNOW this is the crux or otherwise, instead of having typed 'I have been with my fiancée for 3 and a half years we have a 18 month child', you could more easily have put it thus: 'I have been with my partner for 3 and a half years we have a 18 month child'.
See what I see now?
PROPOSE. ...or forever hold your 'piece'.
Ask to see her phone. If she refuses you have your answer, if she gives it you have your answer. I dont think I would get married with this issue at hand kid or not.