Advice on break up
Hi there, I am posting here to get some advice and some other people’s opinions. To start off I want to say I really haven’t dated to many girls, so I don’t have much experience with dating. I met this girl on an online dating site about 6 months ago. We really hit it off, we had almost every little thing in common we would even text each other at the same time saying hi for the day. We either texted, skyped, or talked on the phone all most ever day this summer. Often talking for 4-5 hours late in the night. We got together for an few dates over the summer, which we hung out all day around her town and house, she even introduced to her mom/family. We really couldn’t get together to often because she moved home for the summer (which was over 2 hours away, and she does have an car) and are schedules would never work out so we could get together as much as we. Well now she has moved back to school to an new apartment which is a lot closer. We have both said it was going to be great that she is closer so we can see more of each other. We don’t talk as much as we use to now cause she busy with school work (she told me she really needs to crack down on school work this year). We still shoot an few text back and forth almost every day. If I don’t hear from hear from her or if she doesn’t reply she always says she sorry. We have talked once on the phone two weeks ago, which was like an 3 hour call which we both confessed that we really like each other. Last week we went on an date, which went well. She said she had a lot of fun and was looking forward to it all week. Then we hardly talked for 4 days. She messaged me an few times, but it didn’t last more then an few text. I know two of the days she was busy. Then last night I stupidly how it was off-putting that she wasn’t replying to my text or taking hours to reply. I know this was very stupid to say, I don’t know why I said it, I guess it just built up after 3 weeks of that happening. I kind of said I was sorry for saying that and hoped I offend her. Then she came out and said: (note: I changed her name to ag)
“No you didn't offend me at all. And I was happy to see you on our date. I just idk maybe I just feel like maybe right now I shouldn't try to have a relationship because of how busy I am like it's tearing me apart how straining it is on you and like how we can't talk much and like I hate that I don't have much time right now.” “I just hate it all. But idk I hate doing that to you”” and none of it is because of you or anything like that. Like I've really enjoyed spending time with you and going out on our dates and skyping with you all summer. I just feel like it's so hard to do so right now with my schooling and everything.”” I just want to be 100% honest with you and up front with you. I don't want to be "that" girl and not say anything to you.”
Then I Said:
oh, ok. I enjoyed it to. Honestly Idk what to say. I wish your weren't so busy AG and had more time.
AG:I know Cody, I am just so sorry about this. I really enjoyed our time together and it's just because I just don't have that extra time right now You are just such a great guy and we have so much in common, but idt it is going to work because of my lack of time I just hate it.
thanks for being honest with me Annie , I was really hoping we would make it to an relationship. I have never met anyone like you. We had so much in common.
AG: I know I really hoped too. We had a lot in common, you are such an amazing guy and I just really respect you and I wanted to be 100 percent honest with you because that is exactly what you deserve.
Me: Have you completely lost interest in me? Cause I am willing to work around you having no time.
hoping that you schedule becomes less hectic
AG: I just think I am not ready to be invested in a relationship right now in my life. And I would just hate it if my schedule didnt open up because I don't ever want to lead you on and have you get hurt in any way.
Then we talked a little more after that, say it going to be weird not talking daily. She also said she wants to say it touch with me. I honestly don’t know what to think of it, I really like and care this girl more than any other girl I have dated and I think she feels the same way. I don’t think she has lost interest, but I don’t really know what signs to look for. Should I just give up on her cause it is over or give her some time and see what happens? Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Sounds like this girl is driven & knows what she wants in life. What more could she say really, shes chasing her dreams & is very determined to get it.
When she plays, she plays...BUT when she's serious, she's dead serious
But you have to understand with someone so head strong & focused if they really want something life or want to make something for themselves shes an example of chasing it & not letting anyone getting in the way to distract her or stop her from getting it.
but in saying that you can wait for her, I feel she's worth waiting for; you can tell she's not in any rush to be looking for someone else that's for sure.
But you also need to keep yourself occupied & busy in the meantime, the more you do nothing the more it'll do your head in & end up finding ways or excuses just to see or talk to her which will disrtact her & push her away from you; which is the last thing you want to do.
Thanks, I might wait around for an bit while still being it touch once every week or every couple weeks to show I am still interested. Maybe she will want an relationship in an few months or so, I don't know. I definitely know I don't want to wait around forever for her. I kind of wish that I knew 100% if she still had feelings for me, we have just invested so much time for there not to be. We have to had over 150 hours of talk time on just Skype alone. Oh well I will see what happens. Any more advice will be great also. Thanks
I'm sorry to say, but this gal is trying to let you down easily.
If she really wanted to be with you, she would make time. And she even lives closer to you now and can't commit to making the relationship grow! Get the hint.
Look - you built up a CYBER relationship with her first, but that does not transfer to a real relationship. It was better by text and on-line. But, like I say, reality got in the way.
NEXT time, don't spend so much time developing an on-line relationship. That has to be done in person, face to face.
You sound like a great guy. Get out there and try again - in person!!!