Facebook Banner 001

4 kids w/ 3 different women

Posted by
DEGE
on Sep 23 2014 at 19:15
Member since: 23 September 2014
Relationship advice forum category advice forum category Hi,

I am 24 years old college graduate and a young professional working my way up. On top of that, I am a single mother of a 6 year old that has mental disabilities and it is hard for him to function without meds and am constantly leaving work to tend to his needs. I have recently started dating again after running into the guy I gave my Vcard to. I was completely in love with him in high school and I still love him. He was my first love and he makes me so happy, is so understanding helpful, and wants to be a part of my life and I want him there. Therefore, we decided to start dating and we are now in a full-blown relationship. His situation is so VERY complicated. He has 4 children with 3 different women and 2 of those women has him on child support because he doesn't want to sign over his rights. He is a very good father I see how much he strive and works hard to be there for his children. He used to sell drugs, but now he is trying to do the right thing and has changed his life around, but the mother of his children wants him to go back on the streets so he can afford to pay child support. Today he had a child support court hearing and I went with him it was horrible he was almost arrested because he owes back child support from when he did not have a job. I am a single mother I understand where the other mothers are coming from, but the difference is this man is trying his best to be there for his children why cannot they see that instead of making his life hard. If they put him in jail and he loses his job what good is that going to do for them and the kids cause at the end of the day he will not be there for them. Anyways, I do not know if I can handle the stress of everything else. I have no one to talk to about this that will understand. All my friends and family will only hate him if i discuss our current situation with them because they know that i am already struggling as a single parent and to take the burden of someone else is adding fuel to the fire. I have inherited 7 extra people in my life and if we get married down the line I have to deal with these women for the rest of my life. I am so torn because I am so happy and I love him so much everything seems so good, but I know at any moment someone in his life can cause chaos in ours. I am so scared because I do not want to walk away and give up on him like the rest of the world has. I do not want to be another person in his life that did not give him the opportunity to be and do something different. My head is spinning out of control and all i can think about is this being my life for the next 15 years. His youngest is 3 years old so he has 15 years of child support left to pay sigh. I do not know if this is something, I can live with. However, I know in my heart that I cannot leave him. Please offer some advice.

Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Sep 23 2014 at 19:59
Member since: 27 December 2013
Yes, you will inherit 7 more people in your life!! Are you prepared for this?

How old is this guy? Four kids with three different women, behind in child support, no job? You will inherit even much more with him.

High school loves who don't grow up and mature are not the type you want to pick up on later - especially when he has SO much baggage with him!!

You are in love with the past of this high school sweetheart, but he has not grown up to be much of a man.

Take another look at him, please.

Reply from
DEGE
on Sep 23 2014 at 21:26
Member since: 23 September 2014
@SUSIEDQ

I don't have a problem with the children it is the animal like tendency of these women he decided to have these kids with that bothers and scares me. He is 27 years old. He has a job now, but these women doesn't understand that he has to work in order to pay child support. So taking him to court is not effective. I am still very unsure and he keeps trying to reassure me that things will be okay, but how? I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. All I envision is heartache and agony. But I love him and have never stopped loving him. ever since high school I have been trying to replace him, but no one has ever made me feel like he does. I feel complete with him and my world makes sense and when we are together nothing else matters it is just the two of us. but as soon as I am away from him I can see all the obstacles that has been placed in our way. Do I give up on what I want? Do I let the dream go and take the easy road? or should I build something meaningful and longlasting with the man i feel like i was destine to be with. 9 years later no communication we just ran into each randomly. and just like that he is back into my life. this isn't someone I kept in contact with after high school. we spent 9 years apart and now 9 years 4kids 3 baby mothers later here we are trying to make sense of it all trying to see where we fit to make everything else work trying to figure out if the love we have for each other can get us through this. I am hoping we all can sit down as adults and come to an agreement to where he can take care of his kids. but what happens if he lose his job? if he lose his job he shouldn't have to worry about going to jail because of something that he cant control. sorry I am venting.

Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Sep 23 2014 at 22:09
Member since: 27 December 2013
Sounds like you have made up your mind to accept this kind of lifestyle.

It will be like trying to make a dollar out of fifty sense. He will never be able to take care of you - it will be the other way around.

Love is blind. You are the testament to that.

Good luck.

Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?