My junior year of high school I moved to a new school. In the start of the second semester of junior year I developed a crush on a guy in my English class. Before I got the chance to be friends with him in the class, I became friends with most of the people he was friends with in class. Our friendship started off with us becoming partners for an assignment in class. The best part was he approached me. We were friends in class but as the semester ended I kind of distanced myself from the idea of him and I becoming more than classmates.
Over the summer that same year, something strange happened. He randomly decides to walk across his neighborhood into mine in the middle of the night and gets my number from a mutual friend. He then starts texting me and then he calls me. We start talking about random thing. The texting continued on and then led to facetime with him complimenting me on my appearance. After all of this was going on I started to really like him more than a friend but I still wasn't sure if he liked me the way I liked him.
Senior year arrived and something amazing happened. Him and I were riding the same bus. We ended up sitting with each other most of the time and talk usually. But later after a few weeks went by, I was staying after school more for clubs and he would drive his car back home every now and then. We shared one club together in which my friend told me that he didn't seem like he cared much that I was in the room or not. He was always huddled up with his other friends. From there I assumed my friend was right and I was letting go of the idea once again.
Later, I was finding myself hanging out with him and most of his friends. The feelings came back as he was trying hard to get my attention. I told a mutual friend of ours how I felt. The friend told me to tell him how I felt. Over winter break he started texting me and with the guidance of our mutual friend, I told him that I liked him. His response was that he liked me too but he didn't want to be in a relationship right then. I was hurt and as our senior year finished up we drifted a part as friends.
A year later I saw him at another mutual friend's birthday party. We were both sitting at the same table that seated 20 but on opposite ends. He waved at me from across the table and I waved back. But I was trying to ignore him most of the night while he was doing his best not to feel avoided by jumping into my conversations and so on. He eventually gave up and was at least looking for a bye as he left but I kept ignoring him.
A year after that I found him on Snapchat through mutual friends who had him on Snapchat. I wanted to apologize for my immaturity for the year before but I didn't know how. The next day after I added him he started a conversation with me on Snapchat. I later found out he was with a bunch of his guy friends at his house having a pre birthday celebration for him. He kept the conversation going with me for a while. Few days later it was his 21st birthday and I wished him happy birthday through the chatbox on snapchat. He's reply was "appreciate it bae". An hour later he sends me a snap saying " *my name* you're a cutie BTW I'm drunk". I didn't respond. Two days later he sends me a snap sayin " * my name* you're so sexy stay beautiful k" I told him to stop. He told me he that he means what he said and his statement was justified since he goes to art school. Then he started to apologize for the way he treated me back in high school and I told him it was two years ago and I was over it along time ago. (I lied) I told him I just wannabe friends and nothing else. ( I lied again) He told me the only reason he was friends with me because he was attracted to me but he then he tried distance himself from me because he was attracted to me.
The next day he told me he wanted to make up for all the drunk snaps he sent me. He wanted hang out with me over frozen yogurt but the day he suggested it was the day I had two finals. So I asked him if we can reschedule for another day but he said that was the only day he was available. And then I told him that since he was busy he doesn't have to make it up to me.
Since then we vaguely talk and just send snaps to each other that we send to everyone else. Recently, a mutual friend of ours told me he's been depressed lately, he feels like his parents don't love him , he feels lonely and he drinks every night. I want to help him. I want to be there for him. But I don't know how. And (if I hadn't made it obvious enough) I still have feelings for him. I also don't know if his conversation meant anything other than just an apology.
I would really appreciate any advice I can get from this forum.
You guys typify mid teen behavior where we all learn to interact with the opposite gender. You may have feelings for this guy and you need to ask yourself just where these feelings sit. This guy has issues which really need urgent professional help before he completely goes overboard. His parents need to recognise this if they haven't done so already. He needs to acknowledge his issues and do it himself. You can't do it for him (nobody can) but you can be his friend. Just make sure your feelings don't get in the way of common sense.
Pity. He never got over high school; he acts the same. Now he's older and he seeks solace and courage in drink.
Don't be a "rescuer." He will make your life miserable and zap your energy.
Yes, you're absolutely right we do typify mid teen behavior. Most likely it is probably best that we just stay friends or acquaintances and hopefully he resolves his own personal issues soon by himself if they still persist. But at the same time I feel like when we were in high school we were both completely immature in our own ways to know what we wanted. I am not saying that a relationship should exist between us but I want get a chance to know him now and see how much we've both evolved. I've changed a lot over the years and maybe he has too. The only way to know for sure is if I get to meet him myself without a third party telling me what's going on his life, with their own opinions of him or possible assumptions of what is going on his life. In doing so I think that would be the best way for me to determine (with 100% satisfaction) where my feeling for him sit.
The only problem is how am I suppose to meet up with him or ask to meet up with him? I kinda feel like I closed all doors of us hanging out by refusing to meet up with him (due to finals) when he asked if I could but at the same time he was being kinda egoist. If we were not able to meet up that week he could have at least suggested another week just to be polite. But he didn't so I told him " I have finals coming up and you're busy so we don't have to meet up at all if we don't have the time." and he replied "k i gotchu".
Yo whoo!! Wake up. He has NOT evolved except now he's "depressed, drinks every night" and doesn't get along with parents. Any more warning signs you need/
You mean to tell me you don't know how to ignore a needy man? You don't respond, that's how.
WHY are YOU so interested in rescuing this man?
Adopt a puppy. Much less trouble.