Sleep problems and pattern

Posted by
SQUINN
on Oct 10 2014 at 21:24
Member since: 10 October 2014
Relationship advice forum category advice forum category Hi

I'm a 32 year old guy who's living with a 33 year old woman with 2 kids of her own (10 and 14, father lives wih his moher)

I work the late shift (14:00 - 22:00)

My sleeping pattern and general work life has been this.

Wake up 11:30 am

Go to work 13:30

Get home from work 22:30

Go to bed beween 02:00 - 03:00

I work 5/7 days a week, 1 out of 3 weekends I work

Now my other half thinks this is strange but i've been doing it for the last 3 years.

She recently got a new job... her old job she was a cleaner and was picked up every day from home.

Her new job she had to get the bus in to work. She generally gets up around 06:00 and works 08:00 - 15:00.

Now the winter months are coming she's asked me to break my sleepin pattern to take her to work in the morning.

I've done a week of this now, trialling this for 2 weeks.. waking up at 7:00 and taking her to work, getting home at 8:15 and going back to bed.

I find it hard to get back to sleep and it's made me tired and grumpy.

I mention this to her and she says 'well i'm tired too' and says that my sleeping pattern is strange. She also menions how she does all the housework, gets tired more and I should change my sleeping pattern because i'm living with her and the kids.

What should I do?

Am I really abnormal?

Reply from
SUPER SARAH
on Oct 11 2014 at 00:05
Member since: 20 September 2014
To be honest I think your scheduled clash too much.

I don think you should have to have disturbed sleep to take her to work. Is that the only feasible way she can get to work.

When do you actually get quality time together. Your shift pattern isn't very conducive to having a life outside of work - is there anyway you could change it?

Not being funny but if you aren't getting to bed until 3am and she is up at 6am you don't get much time even in the bedroom.

From experience I know this can affect your relationship greatly. I worked nightshifts for 2 years while my husband (now ex) worked days and even though there were already other issues this working pattern only drove us further and further apart.

Reply from
SQUINN
on Oct 11 2014 at 00:33
Member since: 10 October 2014
Hi.

We see eachother on the weekends I have off (2/3 weekends) and on the friday/monday when i work the 3rd weekend

Reply from
SQUINN
on Oct 11 2014 at 00:48
Member since: 10 October 2014
Sorry for the double post.

If I don't take her she gets the bus. She doesn't mant to be out walking in the cold in the morning while I have a car and the ability to take her to work.

She wants me to go to bed at 11pm and wake up at 7am and stay awake.

Reply from
SQUINN
on Oct 11 2014 at 18:28
Member since: 10 October 2014
So today she has told me she no longer wants me to take her to work.

She said originally she thought it would be a good idea because she would be seeing me every morning, i'd get extra kisses and stuff.

Throughout the week when I was doing it, I was half asleep and mostly zombie-like (much like her son who's like that every day - and she compares me to him).

I also, on the second day told her how I felt that day.

It was alright at first, however I told her when I lost sleep and when i felt tired (I was extremely tired on friday due to lack of sleep) and she didn't like that.

This is what I told her: "When you were working as a cleaner she'd often complain about your pains and you were always tired. I accepted that and thought nothing of it. Why is what I'm doing any different?)

She said that she's tired because she does all the housework etc.

I said "Well you could ask me to do some housework but you won't, because I don't do it perfectly. You keep telling me this".

Then she goes on to say "Well I don't want to hear about how tired you are during the week"

So yeah.. she will 'walk in the cold and wet from now on and get the full up bus' because she doesn't want to put up with me saying i'm tired all the time and looking like her son every morning.

Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?