Advice

Posted by
LIZBARBA
on Oct 15 2014 at 01:21
Member since: 06 July 2014
Gender: Female
Country: United States
Other advice forum category advice forum category I think that my problem is not as big..but it bothers me a lot. When i was in high school i joined soccer were i met people who i thought wear awesome. It all changed when in my junior year i had a boyfriend who cheated on me with one of my friends. In that process of hurting i lost my first love and some friends and i was fine i had to be. My senior year i became close to 5 particular girls we would do everything together but i was closer with one in particular her name is Diana. She was talking to a guy who she argue was just her friends and whom she didn't had feeling for. Out of nowhere this guys tells me he likes me off course i told her right away and stopped talking to the guy i even blocked him from facebook. The next thing that i knew was that everyone at school was sayin that i was a bad friendfriend, it turns out Diana told every one about what happen but didn't say that told her and didn't talk to the guy anymore. From those five friends that i used to hanged out with, two stopped talking to me, another talked about how dont care about anyone, the other told me how i thought everyone was against me ( but what was supposed to think when they all disappear) anyways they all turn there backs on me. Now we all graduated and 4 of us graduated and are in our midways of our first semester in college. I have to be very careful on what i post on facebook because its all against them, i took them off and i still have to be careful. They hang out with the girl that my ex boyfriend cheated with, and they post old pictures of all of us but they cropped me out. One of my old teammates invited me to a party where they are going be at... This girl who invited me is really nice to me considering that all my old teammates hate me. I dont want tk be afraid and i dont want it to bother me anymore i just want to be me. I got new friends and a new life but it still bothers me and whatvever i do it bothers them. I dont know what to do anymore.
Reply from
LINGLING28
on Oct 15 2014 at 02:16
Member since: 23 January 2016
Country: New Zealand
I feel sorry for you but at the same time you need a dong on the head to wake up, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and give yourself some self respect and defend yourself from these accusations. The more you let people walk over you and make up stories about you the more people will believe everything they say about you & build a image of someone your not

You know within yourself that your a loyal friend and in order for people to see that you need speak up and put them in their place when they start talking, obviously you care about what people would say about you or what they think of you & I think its about time to leave your shell and tell the truth & speak out to what really happend.

sometimes you got to bite back only to defend yourself and get people to stop making up stories about you. I can already tell your a genuine person that doesnt want to hurt your feelings but it doesnt mean its ok that they can hurt yours.

theres a barrier and you need to draw the line of it all. time to set the records straight in order for you to move on even if you have to say to their face in front of everyone, least theyll be drowning in embarrasment & put on the spot for lieing. Then youll know that people wont be talking about you in a negative way.

Reply from
LINGLING28
on Oct 15 2014 at 02:20
Member since: 23 January 2016
Country: New Zealand
error: i meant i know you dont want to hurt peoples feelings ut its not ok for them to hurt yours :)
Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Oct 15 2014 at 02:55
Member since: 27 December 2013
Too bad all this high school drama got dragged to the college campus.

Don't give your power away to them. They really are not your friends.

Put more distance between you and them. Stay off FB and continue to develop NEW friends and new experiences.

Hopefully, all this will be forgotten in 6 months. It's really up to you to laugh it off as high school antics and tell people to "get a life and grow up" if anyone brings this old story up again.

Reply from
LIZBARBA
on Oct 15 2014 at 07:07
Member since: 06 July 2014
Gender: Female
Country: United States
thanks for the advices lipzsealed and susiedq. I did try to defend myself but they all made it seem like they did nothing wrong, and they make it seem that I am mean because I defended myself. Anyways thanks for your both advices they are great I do hope this will all be forgotten in 6 months. :)
Reply from
JOHN ALEX CLARK
on Oct 15 2014 at 08:59
Member since: 17 September 2014
That's a very harrowing story, but it's also not unlike what many girls your age face. What you need to learn from these experiences is that friends come and go throughout life and that you need to be more careful of who you trust.

As for those former friends of yours, simply ignore them. Post what you want on social media and don't be hung up on what they might do or think -- it's their problem what they do/think and not yours and it should be no skin off your back.

If they choose to spread slander against you, then be secure in the fact that whatever lies they spread, you are aware of the truth and you can freely confront anyone who judges you with the truth of what you know. If they believe you, then it's all well and good, if they don't believe you, then it's their decision and you really have no control over this.

Again, you can't tell people what to think, but you can control how their perception affects you.

Reply from
LIZBARBA
on Oct 16 2014 at 08:58
Member since: 06 July 2014
Gender: Female
Country: United States
your right john alex clark...thank you :)

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