I just want this guy to leave me alone!!!
I'll try to make this quick. Back in August, I started seeing a guy called RW. I thought he was great at first, but then he turned out to be not so nice. At least that's how I feel. I feel like there's a lot I'd like you to know about RW, but all you really need to know is that I wasn't very happy most of the time I was seeing him. I felt a lot better when I started thinking about breaking it off in September.
Long story short, in September, two guys from my past came back into my life. Their names are Robert and Jude and I've had crushes on them both (Robert in 2010 and 2011 and Jude in 2011). I started seeing them both a little over three weeks ago and simultaneously broke it off with RW.
They both have so many qualities that I just adore. They're both extremely handsome, sweet, good hearted guys that make me feel so good and happy when I'm with them. Jude is so charming I could cry and Robert is so funny and so sweet I can't stand it. They both have a lot of the same qualities I thought RW did, but their kindness, sweetness, charm, good looks, and senses of humor are much more my style.
I know it's kind of skeezy to see two guys at the same time, but I was trying to decide between them and now, I'm pretty sure it's gonna be Robert. Now we get to my problem. RW will not go away. I was hoping that the break up would be the end of things, but he keeps showing up everywhere. He showed up at an art walk we went to, a he showed up Saturday when I went to a movie with Robert, he showed up yesterday uninvited to a friend's birthday celebration. He Won't go away. He's not letting go of our relationship.
RW has problems that I didn't know the severity of back in August. He has some kind of mental disorder and a bad drinking issue. He's not above using violence (or at least he doesn't seem to be) and I'm a little worried about what he's capable of. I don't think he'd physically hurt Robert or Jude, but it wouldn't be the first time he'd hurt someone. I don't think he'd do anything to me either, but who knows?
What should I do? I need this guy out of my life and away from me, Robert, and Jude.
In this case, you should just treat him the way he should be treated: as a former acquaintance. Ignore him when you can and just casually greet him if he goes out of his way to greet you first. Don't even show him any hint that you are letting his presence bother you.
Also, just be wary of him and be prepared to call the police if he escalates things to physical violence. There's really not that much else you can do except to wait for him to make the first move. You should also let the guys that you are dating right now know about him and his tendencies just so they are aware.
You need to look at your own actions and be sure you don't give out mixed messages. Did you start up another relationship before you made it real CLEAR to RW that you two were no longer involved?
All this activity sounds very recent. Perhaps he thinks he's going to be one of your buddies now.
Be gentle but firm. If he gets creepy then watch him.
I'm just trying to get you to think about your flirty ways.
Stop worrying and do one of three things:
1. Ignore him as John Alex Clark said.
2. Tell him to buzz off.
3. Get a restraining order.
If he is stalking you or if he hurts you or one of your guys, you should definitely do #3.