Don't know what to do next
First of all, I am 46 years old, Married for 2 years after 7 year relationship, up and down. We both love each other and for the most part very passionate towards each other. Here's the problem.. My husband had been for several years working out of the country. He got tired of living apart, so did I, so decided to stay states-side. Neither one of us have "lived" with a partner for several years, I never went to other countries when he worked. So WE have not actually lived with each other until 4 month's ago. I have a 12 year old from my previous marriage so couldn't travel as he did. Anyhow, my son's real father never paid child support, which upset both of us, but it is what it is. So the other day my son's dad wants to send money and talk to him. My husband got highly upset with me that I even spoke to him, but I told him, he owes child support and if he is going to pay it, he has to know where we are and where to sent it, right? So later that evening, my husband didn't want to talk to me or discuss anything. Now he's talking about moving out because he said I disrespected his wishes. I love him and don't want him to move out or divorce. I don't know what to do. ?
I don't understand what your husband's "wishes" are. Can you explain?
This all should be turned over to officials. THEY will figure out the payment arrangements and your son can decide if he wants to see his birth father; with the help of officials a visitation schedule can be arranged.
So you see, neither of you really even need to SEE this guy.
Your husband may feel threatened by this man coming into your lives again. Reassure him of your feelings for him. He is hurt and acting like a little boy who is mad and taking the ball and bat home, because the game is not going like he wants.
Thanks for responding SUSIEDQ.
But first of all, we live over 800 miles from my son's birth-father, and He hasn't requested to see his son. He has no car, license, and would be impossible. Second, yes, my husband feels like he should not be apart of my son's life at all. But he should pay child support. That's what I don't get. But I think the moving and financial stress on my husband is getting to him. We just moved and he just started his job, and left us with no savings. So I think there is more to it than just sending child support. The way he exploded at me last night was very hurtful. I just think he is overreacting and he never admits to any wrong.
And to add. My son's father works under the table so going through an agency to get child support has been unsuccessful.