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Posted by
ALOKE
on Oct 18 2014 at 19:10
Member since: 18 October 2014
Emotional advice Hi All,

I am an IT Professional and have faced a problem with my girlfriend whom I proposed long back in my 8th standard. When I proposed to her, she told me to continue with studies and she also told me that it is better that we think of our career first. Listening to her, I concentrated on my career and went on to become an IT professional. Once I achieved my goals, I went back to her. However, I found out that she, by that time is already engaged. I am feeling very defeated and I feel like telling her once about it (me being a very introvert person in this perspective, I am not able to communicate it properly to her). Please help me with a solution by which I can make her understand my feelings for this.

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Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Oct 19 2014 at 01:44
Member since: 27 December 2013
You are going to have to give some kind of a time frame here.

How old were you in the "8th standard" and how old are you now?

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Reply from
ALOKE
on Oct 19 2014 at 19:08
Member since: 18 October 2014
I was 14 years old in 8th Standard. She got engaged when I was 25 years of age (already employed at that time). now I am 34 years of age.

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Reply from
MYSTERY MISTRESS
on Oct 21 2014 at 02:25
Member since: 21 October 2014
I am currently dating an introverted person so I might have some perspective. Communication is a key component to most relationships and you are forgive my bluntness, handicapped in that area. Telling you to just tell her would be like putting a gun to your head so understanding the limitations, my advise would be to show her in your own way. Something simple like roses, a teddy bear or chocolate would make your interests known. If she's curious enough to ask questions then you'll have the conversation you want without the pressure of bringing it up.

Just an added note, just because you were concentrating on your studies is no reason to keep a girl waiting. Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. She may not have recognized your introverted personality and could have mistaken it for a loss of interest in her. THAT'S THE MISTAKE I ALMOST MADE!!!

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Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Oct 21 2014 at 21:50
Member since: 27 December 2013
Do you realize it's been 20 YEARS since all this took place?

You sound so surprised that she is engaged! Did you not talk to her all this time? (or was your head down and you were plowing through your studies but ASSUMING she was thinking the same about you)

Of course speak to her. Let her know you feel the same as you did long ago. See what happens. But don't be surprised if she has gone on with her life.

What have you learned about yourself through all this?

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Reply from
ALOKE
on Oct 24 2014 at 05:12
Member since: 18 October 2014
I think I mis-communicated one particular incident.The proposal happened when I was 25 years old and therein I found her engaged. However, since I did not find any forum like this at that time I could not post this for resolution. I appreciate it is already what can be termed as a 'Lost Case' but still I want to make her realize (somehow in life) that I was honest in my effort still she did not have faith on me.

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