I've never really done this before so I'm not really sure how this goes. I guess this is a cry for help. Lately I've been feeling sad and empty inside. I feel as though I'm a zombie walking around with no purpose. I live day by day with no emotions. The best thing in the world could happen to me and I would feel nothing. Recently, I was dumped by my boyfriend that I had been dating for a long time. Which my inability to get over him drove majority of my friends away since they were annoyed with me being upset over the break up. On top of all of that my alcoholic father told me that him and my mother are getting a divorce. Not knowing how to deal with this sadness that takes over my body I turned to drugs and alcohol to ease my pain. The moment I realized I needed help was when I nearly drank myself to death. I thought it would be a good idea to drink to forget about all the shit in my life. But I knew I had gone too far when I woke up the next day, with my head on the side of a toilet covered in puke not remembering a thing that had happened. I went home and cried. I then contemplated my death and decided everything would be better if I was just gone. I took about ten pills and then stopped because I was scared. I went to bed hoping ten would be enough so that I would never wake up. It wasn't. I'm still here, an emotionless waste of space.
It sounds like life has given you a rough hand lately. I'm so sorry. Life can be really difficult can't it? Don't give up though! The moment you give in to the hopelessness that life will never get better, is the moment you end any chance of it getting better. Is there someone in your life that you can lean on for support? A kind co-worker? A friend? A sibling/aunt/uncle/grandparent? Someone who can sit with you and listen? Maybe that's why you came here? To have someone listen? If that's what it takes to get through this very difficult time, do it.
Be gentle with yourself during this rough time. Nourish your body with healthy foods and exercise. Take time to get outside and observe nature. If you are religious or spiritually oriented, prayer can help immensely. Maybe start a gratitude journal? Writing down the things in your life that you are grateful for can help shift your focus to the positives in your life.
You can do this! Don't give up, don't quit! Take little steps each day to rediscover the beauty of your life. Reaching out to and helping others can also help with recovering from difficult times. Providing service to others has a way of being therapeutic to an aching soul. Helping others helps us feel needed and loving, and those are very good things. Do you have a special cookie recipe? Maybe you could make cookies for a neighbor or something like that?
Remember that your body needs love and gentleness. Drugs and alcohol are anything but love and gentleness. Try to find healthier outlets for pain and depression, like going for a walk or run, using a punching bag, kickboxing, etc.
You can do this. You are unique and you have a purpose here on earth. Allow yourself the chance to find it by letting love and hope overcome the darkness.
I'm sorry you are feeling so bad about events you are facing. But WHY take it out on yourself?
Look - you and your BF broke up and your parents are getting a divorce. Can I tell you those 2 things won't be the worst things in your life to face?
I don't want to discount your feelings, but please put them into perspective. (He's a creep for dumping you, but maybe he was a creep anyway; your parents have a dysfunctional marriage, why should anyone stay in a marriage like that?)
Please know that you WILL get through all this.
Why not seek a counselor to talk to about these things? Is that something you can do? You can get over these "humps" in your life and see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So many great things await you . . .
Anyone who HASN'T been stood in your exact shoes, once upon a time, is just damn lucky. And even that luckiness isn't really luck, it's just a delaying of what's to come because life is a rollercoaster, meaning sooner or later, everyone encounters whatever degrees of dips along with the peaks and loop-the-loops. But the good news is, what follows a great big dip is another extended hill climb to the top. I guarantee it. We don't, any of us, know WHY life's like this, but it smacks loudly to me of being a TEST, like a great big army training camp. I always say, the younger you are that really testing challenges get thrown at you, the more likely it is you've been spotted from 'on high' as Officer material. And the evidence supports it - I don't know ONE successful middle-aged person who reports that their life in the run-up was plain sailing and trauma-less. NOT ONE.
So you're normal but headed for greatness where your by-then extra-pumped muscles will then come in very handy.
Emotions are calls to take action. Were you aware, for example, that even THIRST is an emotion (albeit an animalistic-level one)? That you don't FEEL any should be your hint about your mental nerves being too battered thus unreceptive to signals just at the moment, which is a hint to you that you should take it easy, and, as Katcrysanthymum says, focus on indulging in loads and loads of tiny, simple pleasures. Doesn't matter what they are, they could be fave TV programmes, candle-lit bubble baths with your fave music on, fave foods, doing the things you never ordinarily had time for like trying decorated cake recipes...ANYTHING.
"Take care of the pennies and the pounds take care of themselves". Before you know it - these little coins of pleasure will have mounted up to big pounds. And then you'll have 'magically' got your sensations and energy back.
I imagine you feel bad because you see it that you should be DOING something about these two situations, which is exacerbating your sadness and frustration. Well, you shouldn't. And I suspect this is your life lesson: to sit back for once and let other people take care of their own business and problems. It's called Limbo and it represents a landing between one step and the next on the self-development and -betterment (life) staircase. As soon as you've finished 'collecting all those coins' and learning the lessons about whatever things you possibly did/reacted to wrong (or that you picked someone unsuitable for you in the first place), you'll be ready to get moved to the next step. And there you'll meet likewise better, wiser, mentally fitter people - people in the same mental place as you who aren't going anywhere and THEMSELVES need new friends because there's weren't ready to move from their lower-down step.
Any of this making sense?
(tsk - THEIRS weren't ready)
I see this is pretty much about men or issues relating to men,sounds like you needa job!you need to find your self worth again.you need to quit sulking pull up your big girl pants put on some make up and go find a job.ur always going to have both your mom and your dad even if their not together.and there are plenty of fish in the sea!get with our heavenly father read his book start from loneliness,then ask believe and you shall receive!its as easy as that!