so my boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now and I lost my virginity to him and cosider him my first love. sex is extremely important to me as I am a devoted Catholic and he knows how I feel about it. we are cometely honest and open with eachother or so I thought until I recently found out he had sex with someone a few years ago but never told me that. I'm not sure how to go about confronting him but it pains me so much I just don't know what to do. please help
Yes, you can be a devoted Catholic but is he?. It's obvious that he was/is good enough for you because you lost your virginity to him and what you really need to look at is that it's all ok when a relationship has no secrets but when it does and it's from the past, then it's best left in the past particularly when he wasn't with you.
It's basically none of your business and when you try and make it your business, you are only going to cause conflict in your relationship.
I honestly dont know why your getting yourself worked up over it...yous have been dating for a year and he had sex with that girl a few years ago like you said. You lost you virginity to him and you knew you werent his first. Your getting yourself worked up over his past and thats what you need to tell yourself is that its his past not his present.
Is there a reason that you needed to know that he had sex before? How did you find out?
Do you think he should have confessed it to you BEFORE you two had sex? Would it have made a difference?
Why do you see this as some kind of betrayal?
And also . . . why are you playing the "good Catholic girl" card?
Do you realize that you have a "double standard"?
I absolutely understand your feeling! I am a Muslim girl and have been with my now fiance for a year and half now. I was virgin as well. My fiance confessed to me that he had a one night stand once a few years ago and he told me this just about 4 months ago. I was devastated and so hurt. I kknow it was his past and I know I have no right to be mad but I was so hurt. I kept thinking how it went, what he did, what things she did to him until my head hurt and I would cry for hours. I called him names, we had fights but in the end I realized I was just hurting our rrelationship. I know he loves me so much and I love him soo much that I just have to stop being the way I am. I have now recovered 80% I do think about it once in a while but then I think of our love and things get better and I feel better. Just try to forget it because it really is not worth it. Hope things work out with you