The geek, the friend, and the instagrammer
Hi. So I'm 16 and just getting into relationships for the first time. My problem is that I'm torn between three guys that I really care for at the moment, and I'd like to know which one I should choose and how to break it to the others... I've described each of those guys in the below paragraphs.
1: We go to the same school and we're in the same grade, but we rarely see each other. He always says hi to me in the hallways and I know that he likes me. The thing is that I'm not sure if I like him back because I don't really know him. People either say that he's an annoying creep or a loveable dork. He's very smart, but never gets the girl (a classic problem, I know...). He also used to like one of my friends. Between the three guys, he's the one that I like the least, but I don't want to simply reject him like every other girl he's liked...
2: We've been friends for a year. He's two years older than me and just graduated highschool. We hang out quite often (movies, game nights), but other people are always around. He even comes to our (his former) highschool once a week to hang out with our friends. I really like him and have always had feeling for him, but I don't want to jeopardize our friendship. To top it off, i kind of doubt that he likes me back. He has an amazing sense of humour, he's very nice, and he's cool to be around. He's one of my "friends'" ex-boyfriend and another one of my friends' brother (My "friend" is the one who broke up with him, and he doesn't know why. They obviously don't have closure, and she refuses to talk it out with him).
3: He's my Instagram friend, and is two years younger than me. He's always commenting on my photos, and I'm convinced that he likes me. He's even asked me what it would take for me to like someone, then said that he could fit that description. We have a lot in common, and even like the same bands. He's really sweet and I like him back (not as much as guy #2), but I know that long distance relationships don't work. The problem is that he's depressive and I don't know how to tell him that long distance relationships don't work without triggering his depression. I really do care for him, but I'm not the type to believe in online couples.
I'd really appreciate your help... Thanks in advance.
To start off, I'm the same age and I've been where you are. If you'd want to know how everything went with me, I'm ok with sharing and you can DM me on Instagram at mia_starr11. But to put a simpler answer, I honestly think that you're just trying to date. You want to have someone to call your own without really wanting them back. Although dating doesn't have he huge commitment like marriage, it isn't something to be thrown around either. I'm not trying to offend you (I've had a conversation like this before), it's just that I won't sugar coat things and tell you it's okay to play with other people's feelings. You don't seem to like the "geek" at all, long distance relationships REALLY don't work (I can tell you that story too), and there's a bigger chance that you'll be the one to get hurt if you try to be with the friend. Like I said, we can keep talking if you'd like, but this is my honest opinion based on my observations of others and personal experience. I hope this helps.
SAM- Thanks for sharing your Instagram username, I'll probably send you a DM later tonight or tommorow night (my Instagram's @MGPunkDrummer). I wouldn't say that it's about not wanting them back, because I might like the Geek if I get to know him. The main reason why I'm considering him is because he's the first guy (that I know of, anyways) to ever like me and I don't think that I should take that for granted. Also, I'd like to clarify that it isn't in my intentions to play with people's feeling; that's why I also asked how to break it to the others (especially the depressive Instagrammer).
Still, I have a feeling that hearing your story (through Instagram) will be of more help to me than your current post here. Thank you, I appreciate that you took the time to reply.
Honestly, you should just choose the one that you actually have some strong feelings for. As for the others, there's no need to break it to them if they never actually ask you, just don't display any flirtatious behavior in front of them so as not to give them the wrong idea.