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My friends

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Relationship advice For the past two years I've been really really close with these two girls, Sarah and Sydney. Both of these girls are seriously over dramatic. Every little thing turns into an argument. I understand-you can't be friends for years and never get annoyed with each other. But my point is that when you get annoyed with me, be a big girl and tell me so I can apologise and fix it. We've gotten in see rap fights over the years, all of which they've said that they were absolutly done with me or each other. But ironically we always work it out.
Last week, Sarah came to me EVERY single day and said "are you and syd ok?" and "what's wrong with y'all?" Repeatedly asking me what was wrong between me and Sydney. I didn't know anything was wrong-so after a few days I stopped ignoring her comments and physically confronted Sydney about it. I straight up asked her if she was okay and told her about Sarah, and she said nothing was wrong. Ok, right? No. Everyday when we're together, they'll always make comments that they think are discreet but they aren't. If I accidentally touch one of them they'll say to each other "you know what I have issues with? Personal space". I dropped it. I laid low and didn't purposely make conversation for a day or two. The funny thing is, Sarah can completly blow my off when we're with Sydney, but be my best friend when were alone.
Anyway, today, Sarah came to me and said "did you and Sydney squash your beef?" (Yeah, mature right?) anyway, I did get kind of sassy with her and say that if Sydney WAS mad at me, she needed to come tell me and not talk about it to other people. Sarah kind of got ticked, but she was over it in a few minutes. I went to Sydney later personally and asked her. She said no. We were fine. To ignore Sarah's comments. So I did.
Later that day when we were all together, Sarah got all pissy, and would pointedly look at me and say "I'm so done with all this bullshit," and stuff like that. Sydney just said "I understand. I get it," I just sat there and talked to my other friends. Later, they were fine. I think friends should be friends no matter what. An if we do get annoyed, that's fine but don't sour up and act like that. Face it. I've made the decision, I'm not sitting with them tomorrow. But seriously, how do I handle them? Bipolar friends aren't easy to deal with, and I'm really struggling. Any advice?? Please!!

My friends

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Two's company, three's a crowd. Divide and conquer. United we stand, divided we fall.

You need to sit them BOTH down so you all three are having one head-on confrontation about what's going on for real (or just allegedly and WHY only allegedly)....No-nonsense, acid-test questions, like, 'Why was Sarah insisting there was a problem between you and I, only for you to deny it the minute I came round and confronted you over it, and deny it since? Would you really have me believe that Sarah was fabricating this impression? For what reason?'.

Stop letting them hide behind each other, in other words.

Personally, however, I think I'd just walk away and make new friends because it sounds very much to me that you're alone in your emotional maturity where these two are concerned. Clearly, they don't have enough REAL life business to be getting on with so are intent on trying to pad the empty hours and lack of mental stimulation and challenge with petty and wholly avoidable drama which, simultaneously, allows them to discharge feelings of jealousy or inferiority or whatever else problem either of them feel they have with you.

The ringleader, I suspect, is Sydney, who is exploiting her sense that Sarah needs to seek approval with one or other of you by making herself vital to requirements to whomever's likely to possess most gratitude (highest bidder wins) hence is playing turncoat. This shows that Sarah feels like the outsider or tagalong, as opposed to Sydney who, albeit is likewise susceptible to feeling all-too rejectable by you, is additionally in constant competition with/measures herself against you.

The clues as to why, are these:

"I laid low and didn't purposely make conversation for a day or two"
"I just sat there and talked to my other friends"

They're aware they're not in your league (or just THINK they aren't), and that ultimately you don't need them and could take them or leave them, meaning you're likely to move on from them at some point, so are trying to keep you well and truly hooked by the ego (the part that's addictive to mystery, keen to know what's going on and where you stand). Ber-bom.

Rule to remember in any relationship: the insecure and unconfident one (or this case, two) is 9 times out of 10 the one that constantly acts-out and makes trouble UNDER THE TABLE.



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