Advice needed; Love triangleish
This is kind of a long story but I’m going to try to make it short.
I am currently 17, turning 18 in shortly. I live in Europe so I’m sorry about my bad English.
I have this friend, and we have been best friends since we were little kids.
A big problem I have with her is that she find boys twice as attractive if I have a crush on them. She is very flirty and hits on everyone I like. I on the other hand am not that brave with boys, and have never been.
But this problem started five years ago when I had the biggest crush on a guy in my class. I told her so much about him, and she said “he’s cute, but not my type”. I thought that I was safe, hoping faith would bring u together. I was so wrong.
One year past and I still had a crush on him, and I was almost sure he liked me back.
But then came the day she told me that he added her on Facebook, liked all her photos, and talked to her all the time. I cant even describe the feeling I got. I figured that meant that he never was interested in me anyway. I thought he was the shy, mysterious type, but I figured I had taken soo wrong about him.
(I was right all the time about that btw.)
And so they became a couple. And she wanted me to be friends with him, so that didn’t make the “getting over it” part better. The first time I had to hang out with them together I went home crying.
They were a couple for over a year. They were very “active” (In every way), and I got all details.
I thought I was all over him, I forced myself to get over it quickly.
They had a really bad relationship; my friend is the most negative person on earth. I am one of the few who can actually handle her. They had fights every other day.
One day they broke up, it just didn’t work anymore.
The last year I have changed a lot, I have gotten many new friends. She, and I barely speak anymore, and I am becoming closer and closer friends with him.
Now that I know him, I realize that there’s NO way he took the first steps. No way! He is super shy, a lot of girls like him and the boy is completely blind.
But the problem is that I think my old feelings for him are back… I don’t know what to do. He is my ex-best friend’s ex-boyfriend. It is SO wrong, and he is so beautiful. And I kissed him once in a game of truth or dear. I really wanted to do it. It is just so weird thinking about all the stuff they did with each other (and I know all the details). But I like him.
What do I do if he likes me back? How will people react and what about my friend?
It's very, very simple: At the time, she feared she'd lose you to a romantic relationship or/and get left behind and humiliated in terms of a stark contrast between your development and hers, so tried to permanently do away with this boy the only way she knew how: bag him for herself (despite she wasn't into him).
Now you can hopefully feel the click about why she gave you all the gory details, right? You were supposed to resent him.
BECAUSE she wasn't ever truly into him, it didn't/couldn't last nor pan out well in the meantime.
Not only is she no longer your friend, she never truly was in the first place because whatever proportion of it was down to her being your COMPETITOR. And with friends like that - who put their own selfish needs high above your lasting feelings - who needs enemies!
GO FOR IT. And if she or anyone else who can't see through her says anything, try this: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn".
You're almost 18. This young man could be the future father of your children for all you know!
Put yourself first whenever it's your right to do so. The types of people who care as much about your happiness as their own and whom you WANT as friends, will understand. Or as Dr Seuss says: Those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter.
(PS: Your English is perfect.)
Past is past, why you should care about your ex-bestfriend's ex-boyfriend. If you love that boy, then go. But if that boy is a playboy, well don't be stupid my dear^^ .. There's a lot of boys in the world he's not the only one. Many boys are just around.