Long distance confusion
I met this guy on an app in July and we started talking and getting to know each other. We decided we wanted to meet each other so he drove 8 hours to come visit for the weekend. (We talked and skyped for 3 months before he visited) My problem now is that I really like him and I feel that he likes me too, but I'm not sure if I should ask him what are relationship is, if we're just talking and it's casual or if we're boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm worried if I asked things will change with us and I don't want to lose him. Please help!
If you skyped for 3 months before he drove for 8 hours to visit you, then his actions are speaking. When a man is interested in a woman, he'll do things like drive for 8 hours to meet her.
Only the future can tell you where it ends up but you need to realize that all you have to do is ask this guy where you stand together.
The one thing you really need to be concerned about though, is that, while LDR's do work, they need a lot of input.
well you haven't met him yet, you don't know the things you love about him just yet, you know him but you don't if you get what I'm saying. There's things about him that you don't know that may bother the hell out of you. I would wait til he comes and then wait to DTR. I wish the best of luck! Especially if you guys end up in a LDR. It's a lot of commitment(:
(No, SAM7902, she HAS met him)
IMNOTGOODATTHIS, what I want to know is why do you even feel the NEED to ask him where you stand, given that you were chatting followed by having the first meeting, which follows the procedure known as Dating.
So what is it you want to know? Whether you're exclusive steadies already?
Are you used to men who outright say, 'Will you be my girlfriend?'? Do you not think actions speak louder than words, anyway, meaning his travelling 8 massive hours to get to meet you in the flesh, "says" something - and more than just 'we're dating'?
Or has he somehow CHANGED his behaviour towards you since that visit, and for the worse?
If he hasn't changed his behaviour and, au contraire, is now appearing to have UPPED his attention or level of communication intimacy, then I'd say he's taking it for granted that you and he are bf/gf and likewise taking it for granted that you know that.
So has he - decreased his fervency and attentions?
Thank you all for the advice.
SOULMATE: I guess I just wanted to be clear about what we were and not just assume. He hasn't changed since he visited. In fact a few hours after I posted this he said something about how he feels this is getting serious. But thank you, you actually helped a lot!
Ah, well, then - case closed (summary: just a typical LDR wobble) (with probably many more to come, LOL, ...including his! ROFL).
Tip: LDRs are *not* for the feint-hearted...so don't get too many late nights, etc., cos you're going to need to be limber and working on full cylindry.
PS: It was actually a team effort, but you're welcome.