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I want her back...

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Relationship advice My "ex" and i were a couple for a year and a half. When it was summer, she startet doubting but she couldn't give me a straight answer. I suggested " go out with your friends, maybe it helps you take your mind off of it". She did and i stayed home because i was doubting because of her doubt...

I went to Menorca for a week with my mates and the first day i was there , she texted me saying she contacted er ex... I was angry and i asked why? She said to me, i had to but know for sure, i'm happy where i'm now. I'm happy with you... As the week passed, i returned home and everything was fine. We had a beautiful weekend at the beach but after this, everything went downhill...

Again she was doubting and couldn't give me a decent answer. The problem is, when someone doubts, you start doubting too and it's difficult not letting this feeling take the overhand.

Eventually there were things i started to notice more, there was a distance between us, we lived next to eachother instead of with eachother. I couldn't take it anymore so i suggested to break up... She went okay with this all and we seperated.

Then i started to miss her... It was like she didn't mind the breakup at all, she lived her live happily... I tried to have as less contact as possible but sinse we're trying to sell our appartment and all the furniture, it's not completely possible.

Last weekend she went on a trip for 3 days and i had to take care of our cat since it still lived in the app... I didn't text her untill the end of the weekend, i wanted to ask her a couple of things about the cat and so i called her. She was really angry because this weekend was supposed to be without thinking about all the misery... I apologized and eventually she did too.

This wednesday, she called about financial business and i asked her what her plans were this weekend, just to be interested in her life, she said she'll go to Berlin with "mates"... I was a bit angry and i said "have fun" and i put the phone down... She also said : take care man... Man? This is so unpersonal... From this point on, the texting became serious...

She said to me: you really don't know what you want, last week you were cold to me, this weekend you were a the perfect partner to talk to, in your texting you're very sweet and kind and over the phone you act so apathic...

I gave her a text message that was pretty long, saying that she is the one who acts so cold, i told her that she's the one who makes me feel like, we were nothing... I told her she's seeing more "mates", and i don't know what to think anymore. I told her i missed her and i still love her..., i said to her you're already making future plans and it all happens so fast... We broke up and i had to pack my things and take off...

She responded with: finally after so many months, you're finally saying what's on your mind...of course the whole situation bothers me, i don't know why i'm not missing you, the way you are missing me, it's probably a phase that i always have and i eventually will notice within a couple of weeks... Sometimes i wished you would just shake me and said: i want to do something with only us... You gave me time to take off with my friends and have fun but i wished you sometimes just said no, and took us somewhere to be together... You didn't fight for me and eventually i stopped trying.

This message was sent the day before yesterday and i didn't respond... Yesterday, i get the message from her : i heard from my mom, that you were sad thus week about the whole situation...sometimes i wished you were more honest about your feelings. I wished you told me more that you loved me, instead of taking everything for granted... Maybe then things could have been differently...

This is where i come to you guys... I hope you can help me about this situation... What do i do, what step do i take next? She's giving me mixed feelings... You think she still wants to give me a second chance or not? You think this goal can be achieved ? I miss her and i want her back... I understand what i did wrong...i want to change that and let her know i want to change. I want to fight for her... I was walking in the city, and she was the only girl i wanted to be with...

Kind regards!
Michiel

I want her back...

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i dont know if this will help you but i am displaying similar behaviour to your ex and thought id share. i have been with my bf for four and a half years and two months ago started having doubts, they distressed me a lot. some days i feel i love him so much and feel guilty for being this way but other times i feel i could be without him. he went away a couple weeks ago to play football and i did not miss him which was strange as i always do. i really dont know how i feel and i feel like my mind is testing me yet i REALLY want to work through these doubts so in no way at all will i break up with him regardless of them. I am trying to be strong and work though them because i honestly want to be with him. however my boyfriend is SOO supportive and i think that if he wasnt i may feel differently so yes i think you should fight for her! and hopefully like me, she will want to fight through her doubts and try to work things out!

I want her back...

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Nightman - I don't know, I am having NO difficulty in figuring out what she wants you to do ---- from YOUR own post!!

Now, you don't appear to be a dense man, but re-read your own writing and what you think she said to you, and see if you can figure it out.

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