PeoplesProblems Logo

Reconciling girlfriend's past with mine

Default profile image
Relationship advice I've been dating my girlfriend for over a year. We're very much in love with each other and we both want to get married as soon as possible. I'm currently saving up money for a ring. Our relationship is great. We can talk to each other about anything, we've been with each other through extremely difficult times, we've had tons of fun together, pretty much everything I ever hoped for in a women; she genuinely exceeded my expectations.

There is one problem, and its a problem of mine, not hers. The only road block in the way of our amazing relationship is reconciling my relationship past with hers. Before I explain, allow me to give context..

My relationship past before her is bland and minor. Nothing serious, nothing fun and exciting, just a few dates here and there. It's worth noting I turned down a lot of opportunities for "fun relationships" (physical intimacy included, though not necessarily sex) because I wanted to save all of that for a somewhat serious relationship...well, there's a problem with that; that fun and physical excitement with another person, (a "fling" if you will,) never came because the one serious relationship I ever had is with my current girlfriend. She, on the other hand, had plenty of flings before me because her mindset was different than mine. She hasn't had sex, either, but she has done way more than I have and she's come so close to sex, it's tough to even call her a virgin even though I suppose in a technical sense, she is.

My lack of physical intimacy has been expanded in our relationship. Our overwhelming emotional connection coupled with our physical connection is wonderful. We want to wait for marriage to go all the way, as difficult as that's been. But as of late, we've stopped even going passed making out because its just gotten too hard to get to that point and stop.

Keep in mind we can't get married for 2 years. So, as it is right now, I have to stop being physical, (that won't literally happen because we're not perfect but it will happen to a large degree) and just accept the fact that my girlfriend has gotten that fun physical intimacy out of her system with other guys while *she* has been my only physically intimate fun in my life. She's been naked with other guys, I haven't with other girls, she's made out with around 20 guys, I've made out with not even 10 girls..the list goes on.

I understand the past is the past, her past shouldn't bother me, yada yada. All of that is easier said than done. I want a different perspective than that. Ay suggestions?

Reconciling girlfriend's past with mine

Default profile image
Yep, it sure is easier said than done, but then if you have made a commitment to this woman, then you have accepted her totally and the circumstances which surround your relationship with her....or have you?

If you are feeling left out because she has done more things than you, then you are not ready to be with her totally. You still have a few things that you and only you, need to do, so you can be with her on the same level. This is your problem and yours alone and you owe to yourself to solve it with commonsense.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?